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The Complete Fic Directory
- All I Do Each Night Is Rehearse The Pray Routine
- Appendicitis
- An Act Of Un-Remembrance
- Beginnings
- Better Than Today - Kylie Minogue
- Black
- Breathe Out
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- Dangling
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- Default Settings/Do You Love Me? [Part One]
- Displacement Theory [Blue]
- DJ (I Could Be Dancing) - Alphabeat
- Enchanted
- Ends (Loose And Otherwise) [Ends]
- Enemies
- Family
- Fine Time To Lose Your Mind - Jack McManus
- Fireworks
- Flat Tyres And Palm Prints [Birth]
- Flu
- Friends: A Dictionary [Friends]
- From Angels To The Moon/The Soup
- Green Light [Green]
- Hell Raisers
- Home Invasion
- Hours
- In My Veins
- Insides
- It Was The Death Of Something [Death]
- Just Like Children [Children]
- Kiss And Make Up
- The Last Time
- Lonely At Christmas
- Love Songs
- Lovers
- Middles
- Midnight Sun
- Mistletoe
- Months Go By [Months]
- More Important Than Fear
- Muddied Stars [Brown]
- Not Enough
- Of Peacocks
- On The Subject Of Angels [Orange]
- Playing House [Parents]
- The Price Of Friendship
- The Prize
- Post-Match Analysis
- Puddles
- Red
- Secret Admirer
- Secret Agent Owen
- Shades
- Shine - Skies Of America
- Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
- Snap
- So Good To See You
- Stage Fright
- Stay (Oh Darlin')
- Study In Motion
- Summertime Feeling - S Club 7
- Sunrise
- Sunset
- Teammates
- That Night In Amsterdam/Do You Love Me? [Part Two]
- This
- Three Sets Of Three
- Twenty-Nine (And A Half)
- Under A Colourless Sky [Colourless]
- We Found Something That Belongs To You [Outsides]
- We Were Strangers Once [Strangers]
- Weeks
- What Did You Say This Time?
- What Will The Papers Say? [Purple]
- White Out [White]
- The Wordsmith/Breathe In
- Years
- Yellow
- Yesterday's Promise
- 3-0 Defeats
- Barlow's Music Shop Series
- Fanfiction Challenges
- The Postcard Prompts
- OT3, OT4 & OT5
- Stories By Band Member
- Stories By Ship
- Stories By Genre
- Stories By Era
- Band-Free AUs
- Prompt Requests
- Other Fandom Fics
- Follow Me
Muddied Stars [Brown]
Surely gold is just another shade of brown. That’s what Gary lay awake thinking that night. Manchester – where it all started for them, the brown hum from which they had emerged to golden heights. Supposedly. But what exactly is the difference between brown and gold? After all, they were still just four blokes, nothing special. How on earth did they deserve anything from this city? That thought troubled him. Of course, his naturally optimistic nature meant that he had been perfectly confident from the very beginning of this tour that their fans would love it. And it had gone down a storm – as tired as he was by the finale fireworks each night, he still couldn’t help but wish he was standing at the beginning. But this was Manchester. Even if Manchester did love it, that didn’t mean they ought to. Gary’s brow furrowed deeper and he turned over yet again, hitting a fist into the pillow and trying to get comfortable in the resulting dent. But it was to no avail. That one thought kept troubling him: is gold really any better than brown, or is it just a variation on a theme?
He knew he needed someone to talk to but the door he ended up at surprised him slightly. These days it was Mark who he usually turned to – the cheerful abandon of his laugh and the thoughtful smile of his words could never fail to lift and advise Gary when he needed it. But no, not tonight. Often he would turn to Howard, for Howard possessed the rare ability to think about something on a deeper level than anyone else Gary knew whilst at the same time knowing exactly the right joke to crack in any situation. But no, not tonight. There was only one man Gary felt he needed tonight.
Gary’s knock on Jason’s door was tentative, guilty almost. He knew that if anyone knocked on his door at this hour in the morning they would most likely get their head bitten off. Unless it was Mark, who could usually disarm Gary in seconds in a way that even Dawn was occasionally jealous of. But just as Gary was about to turn away, he heard the sound of the door being unlocked. Gary’s eyes took a moment to focus as Jason opened door, his room understandably dark compared to the glare of the hotel lights, and for a moment he wondered if he could pretend he was sleepwalking and make a run for it. Jason, however, simply smiled at him with quiet expectancy.
“I was just…actually, you know what, it doesn’t matter…sorry…I’ll just…” Gary stammered.
“Come in Gaz,” Jason replied with a soft laugh, turning away from the door and disappearing back into his suite. Gary stood a moment, staring in slight bewilderment at the invitation of the open door in front of him. There were few as patient as Jason, he had to hand it to the man, and he smiled gratefully to himself as he stepped into the room.
“I’m sorry about this mate, if you want to get back to sleep…” Gary began but Jason waved a hand at him, turning on a lamp and nodding his head towards the sofa.
“Give over, since when have you known me to actually be sleeping at this time,” he replied gently, flashing Gary a slightly rueful smile. It was true, the early hours of the morning were not often used for sleeping by Jason. Women, travel, exercise – it had all gotten in the way in the past. These days it was Jason’s own brain that tended to provide the distraction. They’d often joke about ‘Jay and his issues’ but Gary had never been more grateful for his friend’s constant concern in thinking about things until no angle is left to look from. Jason yawned and Gary suspected that for once he may have actually been sleeping, but Gary knew he wouldn’t get away with leaving now.
“It’s not like me not to sleep but…but I just can’t stop thinking about it all Jay…” Gary sighed after a beat, sinking down into the indicated sofa with a quiet shrug. Jason’s eyes gleamed playfully.
“Welcome to my world,” he teased, but his smile was kind.
“No offence mate but I’m not enjoying your world too much. I’ve got three pillows and I still can’t bloody sleep!” Gary retorted with a gentle chuckle. Jason grinned.
“So come on, what’s up,” he said kindly, dipping his head slightly in a way which would have seemed patronising from anyone else, yet resonated with honesty from Jason.
“It’s being back in Manchester…it’s weird Jay. This year has just been insane for us, and then here we are, back where it all started and it’s just…weird,” Gary said, rubbing a hand over his tired face.
“Agreed…” Jason replied slowly and Gary could see Jason’s brain slowly gearing up for another one of his deep assessments.
“I mean…what is the difference? How exactly have we earned any of this fuss from this place?” Gary asked, not really expecting more than sympathy but half hoping Jason would know the answer.
“The difference? I’m pretty sure I know what that is,” Jason smiled at once.
“I wish I was so sure mate,” Gary replied, a little taken aback. At this, Jason disappeared, returning pulling a hoody over his head and with flip flops on his feet. Gary frowned.
“Come on, I’m going to show you the difference,” Jason told him confidently.
Jason has a way of putting his finger on things that never stops surprising Gary, and it surprised him yet again that night. As he stood on the roof of the hotel, Jason at his side, he could see the city stretching out in front of them. It was funny but from up there, it didn’t scare him so much. The two men looked out at the glitter and the hum of lights and cars and barely-visible stars, the dark and shimmer of a Manchester night reflected in their eyes. Jason pulled his hands inside the sleeves of his hoody, sitting himself down silently and waiting for Gary to follow suit. For a moment they carried on watching in silence and Gary zipped his own hoody up a little further.
“This is the difference Gaz,” Jason said softly, almost whispering.
“Between brown and gold, then and now? I’m sorry Jay but…” Gary sighed but Jason shook his head.
“Think about it, what’s the difference?” he said. Gary stopped, hesitating. He looked out once more.
“I don’t…” he began but Jason cut him off yet again.
“Perspective, Gaz. It’s all about perspective…I mean, back then, we didn’t see too much outside our own world. You didn’t know where any of us were coming from and we were all almost as clueless about each other too. But we grew up – we got a grip on our lives a bit better,” Jason explained and Gary blinked. Jason had hit the nail on the head once again; perspective.
“The bigger picture…up here is a bigger picture. A better perspective,” Gary murmured and Jason smiled quietly.
“Well I prefer it at least,” he remarked thoughtfully.
For a few moments the two sat in silence, watching Manchester slowly begin to consider whirring into life for a new day. It was still too early for much but the number of cars seemed to steadily increase the longer they watched.
“You know, every night, in Rule The World…I look across the stage and there Dougie is with an arm out ready for me. And then he gives me this big hug, and out the corner of my eye I can see you just engulfing Markie in some massive bear hug…that’s when I know gold is more than just polished mud. I just think…all the stars are coming out for you three. I’m not singing to the audience in that moment – the whole rest of the show I’m all theirs but in that moment it’s all about the four of us…” Gary said after a while. Jason’s eyes glittered quietly as Gary talked, the words, coming from someone who had once been his superior and was now his equal, touched him. He smiled and glanced back out at the city, dipping his head slightly before looking back to Gary.
“You know when I realise?” he asked.
“When?” Gary smiled quietly.
“When it’s the four of us standing together for that last bow. We’re all shoulder to shoulder, hands together, arms in the air…we’re golden then. Nothing can bring us down from there…they might’ve been able to topple one alone, but they can’t get any of us when we’re together – I know you’d fight hell and high heaven for any one of us. And if it helps…I think we’d consider doing the same for you. After a band meeting, of course,” Jason said with a mischievous grin and Gary laughed, giving Jason a small shove and getting himself briefly entangled in a headlock-come-hug in return.
“I didn’t doubt it mate,” he replied honestly as Jason released him from his grip and the two exchanged a brief glance. There was another short pause, then Jason turned.
“Does Dawn know you’ve been singing that line with us in mind?!” he joked.
At that moment there came the sound of footsteps approaching and Gary and Jason both turned to see a surprisingly bright-eyed Howard and a very tired looking Mark walking over to them.
“Alright old man,” Jason called across to Howard who chuckled.
“Watch it you – he beats me at one game of snap and he starts taking fucking liberties!” he retorted.
“How did you pair know where we were?” Gary asked with a quirk of his eyebrows.
“Jay sent me a text, he knows I never turn my phone off – so, here I am,” Howard shrugged.
“Howard woke me…” Mark mumbled sleepily into his hotel dressing gown.
“And we all know how good I am at bedside manner,” Howard grinned, sitting down next to Jason.
“Second to none,” Jason smirked with a roll of his eyes. Mark protested with words indiscernible before sitting down next to Gary.
“Come ‘ere,” Gary smiled, rolling his eyes affectionately and Mark obediently shuffled towards Gary, resting his head on his shoulder. Then, the four men sat still, silently watching their city.
“You know it freaks us all Gaz,” Howard said softly after a while.
“But that’s the good thing…it freaks us all, and I actually know that. This time around, I know,” Gary replied and Howard smiled at him, nodding thoughtfully. Then a small fist to Gary’s chest broke the moment and Gary looked down with a friendly smile, one eyebrow cocked in questioning.
“Stop talking nonsense Barlow, ya daft sod,” Mark murmured, making the other three laugh.
“We know you agree with us really Mark,” Jason smiled. Mark let out a small grunt.
“And you can shove off an’ all,” he retorted sleepily.
“He’s such an angel…I tell you, if the fans knew what he was really like…” Gary began to tease, receiving an small elbow to his ribs for his troubles. But there was a small, tired smile on Mark’s lips and the other three were satisfied that he too agreed this early-hours band meeting was necessary and at least a little bit enjoyable.
It wasn’t until Mark’s loud yawn that they realised they probably ought to go back to bed.
“Did your mother never tell you to cover your mouth!” Gary joked.
“No…but I do remember her advising me to never go up onto hotel roofs with you lot at two in the morning!” Mark replied quickly. Gary chuckled but Jason tilted his head to look over at Mark.
“What oddly specific advice your mum gave you as a kid...don’t think I ever got more than a ‘remember to tie your shoelaces’ when I was growing up,” he teased and he was satisfied to see the comment won him a small smile from Mark.
“My mum just had a gift for giving out good advice,” he said through another yawn.
“It’s two forty-five actually…” Howard put in playfully, glancing at the time on his phone.
“Jay – throw his phone off the roof for me,” Mark muttered groggily and Jason laughed.
“Alright Marko, you win. Jay’s room?” Gary said quickly, not wanting to have to learn yet another number for contacting Howard.
“Fine by me,” Howard shrugged and the four men slowly got to their feet.
“Blimey Jay, did they give you the biggest room?” Howard asked as they shuffled into Jason’s suite. Jason rolled his eyes teasingly and glanced back at Howard, amused that their natural rivalry was extending itself to room size.
“No, it just looks bigger because it’s not got wires for every gadget under the sun cluttering up all four corners,” he remarked pointedly, mischief in his eyes. Howard chuckled but had to admit defeat in the face of what was basically the truth.
“Well it’s definitely bigger than mine,” Mark put in, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“I doubt it Markie, yours is just so strewn with stuff you can’t tell how big it is anymore,” Jason said.
“He has a point mate…some of your stuff is actually strewn across my room now!” Gary laughed and Mark pouted a little as the other three men made themselves comfortable.
“Is that your excuse for wearing my scarf yesterday then?” he questioned.
“Stop your wining and give us a hug,” Gary smirked as Jason and Howard fought for space on the other side of the bed. Mark grinned, suddenly adopting a spring to his step as he threw himself across the bed, squashing his bandmates and forcing them to let out a collective groan that slowly morphed into laughter. Mark nodded, pleased with his work, and he scrambled into a cosier spot, stealing pillow room from Gary and Howard and almost causing Jason to roll off the bed.
The bed wasn’t built for four but somehow they were all drifting off to sleep easily enough. Gary smiled to himself as he looked at the three men next to him. Howard had sprawled out, one arm flopping across Jason’s face. Jason, ever noble, was somehow fast asleep beneath Howard’s intruding arm and was defying gravity as he lay rigidly on a sliver of mattress at the edge of the bed. Mark found himself in the most comfortable spot, something which none of them would begrudge him, curled up tight with his head making the most of both pillows as well as a little bit of Gary’s shoulder. As he finally felt his eyelids drooping, Gary felt sure that he had answered his question. This was the difference between then and now. This was that subtle step up from brown into gold. This wasn’t just another shade of mud, this was the crackle of autumn leaves. What’s the difference between brown and gold? Perspective? Yes. Friendship? Definitely.
He knew he needed someone to talk to but the door he ended up at surprised him slightly. These days it was Mark who he usually turned to – the cheerful abandon of his laugh and the thoughtful smile of his words could never fail to lift and advise Gary when he needed it. But no, not tonight. Often he would turn to Howard, for Howard possessed the rare ability to think about something on a deeper level than anyone else Gary knew whilst at the same time knowing exactly the right joke to crack in any situation. But no, not tonight. There was only one man Gary felt he needed tonight.
Gary’s knock on Jason’s door was tentative, guilty almost. He knew that if anyone knocked on his door at this hour in the morning they would most likely get their head bitten off. Unless it was Mark, who could usually disarm Gary in seconds in a way that even Dawn was occasionally jealous of. But just as Gary was about to turn away, he heard the sound of the door being unlocked. Gary’s eyes took a moment to focus as Jason opened door, his room understandably dark compared to the glare of the hotel lights, and for a moment he wondered if he could pretend he was sleepwalking and make a run for it. Jason, however, simply smiled at him with quiet expectancy.
“I was just…actually, you know what, it doesn’t matter…sorry…I’ll just…” Gary stammered.
“Come in Gaz,” Jason replied with a soft laugh, turning away from the door and disappearing back into his suite. Gary stood a moment, staring in slight bewilderment at the invitation of the open door in front of him. There were few as patient as Jason, he had to hand it to the man, and he smiled gratefully to himself as he stepped into the room.
“I’m sorry about this mate, if you want to get back to sleep…” Gary began but Jason waved a hand at him, turning on a lamp and nodding his head towards the sofa.
“Give over, since when have you known me to actually be sleeping at this time,” he replied gently, flashing Gary a slightly rueful smile. It was true, the early hours of the morning were not often used for sleeping by Jason. Women, travel, exercise – it had all gotten in the way in the past. These days it was Jason’s own brain that tended to provide the distraction. They’d often joke about ‘Jay and his issues’ but Gary had never been more grateful for his friend’s constant concern in thinking about things until no angle is left to look from. Jason yawned and Gary suspected that for once he may have actually been sleeping, but Gary knew he wouldn’t get away with leaving now.
“It’s not like me not to sleep but…but I just can’t stop thinking about it all Jay…” Gary sighed after a beat, sinking down into the indicated sofa with a quiet shrug. Jason’s eyes gleamed playfully.
“Welcome to my world,” he teased, but his smile was kind.
“No offence mate but I’m not enjoying your world too much. I’ve got three pillows and I still can’t bloody sleep!” Gary retorted with a gentle chuckle. Jason grinned.
“So come on, what’s up,” he said kindly, dipping his head slightly in a way which would have seemed patronising from anyone else, yet resonated with honesty from Jason.
“It’s being back in Manchester…it’s weird Jay. This year has just been insane for us, and then here we are, back where it all started and it’s just…weird,” Gary said, rubbing a hand over his tired face.
“Agreed…” Jason replied slowly and Gary could see Jason’s brain slowly gearing up for another one of his deep assessments.
“I mean…what is the difference? How exactly have we earned any of this fuss from this place?” Gary asked, not really expecting more than sympathy but half hoping Jason would know the answer.
“The difference? I’m pretty sure I know what that is,” Jason smiled at once.
“I wish I was so sure mate,” Gary replied, a little taken aback. At this, Jason disappeared, returning pulling a hoody over his head and with flip flops on his feet. Gary frowned.
“Come on, I’m going to show you the difference,” Jason told him confidently.
Jason has a way of putting his finger on things that never stops surprising Gary, and it surprised him yet again that night. As he stood on the roof of the hotel, Jason at his side, he could see the city stretching out in front of them. It was funny but from up there, it didn’t scare him so much. The two men looked out at the glitter and the hum of lights and cars and barely-visible stars, the dark and shimmer of a Manchester night reflected in their eyes. Jason pulled his hands inside the sleeves of his hoody, sitting himself down silently and waiting for Gary to follow suit. For a moment they carried on watching in silence and Gary zipped his own hoody up a little further.
“This is the difference Gaz,” Jason said softly, almost whispering.
“Between brown and gold, then and now? I’m sorry Jay but…” Gary sighed but Jason shook his head.
“Think about it, what’s the difference?” he said. Gary stopped, hesitating. He looked out once more.
“I don’t…” he began but Jason cut him off yet again.
“Perspective, Gaz. It’s all about perspective…I mean, back then, we didn’t see too much outside our own world. You didn’t know where any of us were coming from and we were all almost as clueless about each other too. But we grew up – we got a grip on our lives a bit better,” Jason explained and Gary blinked. Jason had hit the nail on the head once again; perspective.
“The bigger picture…up here is a bigger picture. A better perspective,” Gary murmured and Jason smiled quietly.
“Well I prefer it at least,” he remarked thoughtfully.
For a few moments the two sat in silence, watching Manchester slowly begin to consider whirring into life for a new day. It was still too early for much but the number of cars seemed to steadily increase the longer they watched.
“You know, every night, in Rule The World…I look across the stage and there Dougie is with an arm out ready for me. And then he gives me this big hug, and out the corner of my eye I can see you just engulfing Markie in some massive bear hug…that’s when I know gold is more than just polished mud. I just think…all the stars are coming out for you three. I’m not singing to the audience in that moment – the whole rest of the show I’m all theirs but in that moment it’s all about the four of us…” Gary said after a while. Jason’s eyes glittered quietly as Gary talked, the words, coming from someone who had once been his superior and was now his equal, touched him. He smiled and glanced back out at the city, dipping his head slightly before looking back to Gary.
“You know when I realise?” he asked.
“When?” Gary smiled quietly.
“When it’s the four of us standing together for that last bow. We’re all shoulder to shoulder, hands together, arms in the air…we’re golden then. Nothing can bring us down from there…they might’ve been able to topple one alone, but they can’t get any of us when we’re together – I know you’d fight hell and high heaven for any one of us. And if it helps…I think we’d consider doing the same for you. After a band meeting, of course,” Jason said with a mischievous grin and Gary laughed, giving Jason a small shove and getting himself briefly entangled in a headlock-come-hug in return.
“I didn’t doubt it mate,” he replied honestly as Jason released him from his grip and the two exchanged a brief glance. There was another short pause, then Jason turned.
“Does Dawn know you’ve been singing that line with us in mind?!” he joked.
At that moment there came the sound of footsteps approaching and Gary and Jason both turned to see a surprisingly bright-eyed Howard and a very tired looking Mark walking over to them.
“Alright old man,” Jason called across to Howard who chuckled.
“Watch it you – he beats me at one game of snap and he starts taking fucking liberties!” he retorted.
“How did you pair know where we were?” Gary asked with a quirk of his eyebrows.
“Jay sent me a text, he knows I never turn my phone off – so, here I am,” Howard shrugged.
“Howard woke me…” Mark mumbled sleepily into his hotel dressing gown.
“And we all know how good I am at bedside manner,” Howard grinned, sitting down next to Jason.
“Second to none,” Jason smirked with a roll of his eyes. Mark protested with words indiscernible before sitting down next to Gary.
“Come ‘ere,” Gary smiled, rolling his eyes affectionately and Mark obediently shuffled towards Gary, resting his head on his shoulder. Then, the four men sat still, silently watching their city.
“You know it freaks us all Gaz,” Howard said softly after a while.
“But that’s the good thing…it freaks us all, and I actually know that. This time around, I know,” Gary replied and Howard smiled at him, nodding thoughtfully. Then a small fist to Gary’s chest broke the moment and Gary looked down with a friendly smile, one eyebrow cocked in questioning.
“Stop talking nonsense Barlow, ya daft sod,” Mark murmured, making the other three laugh.
“We know you agree with us really Mark,” Jason smiled. Mark let out a small grunt.
“And you can shove off an’ all,” he retorted sleepily.
“He’s such an angel…I tell you, if the fans knew what he was really like…” Gary began to tease, receiving an small elbow to his ribs for his troubles. But there was a small, tired smile on Mark’s lips and the other three were satisfied that he too agreed this early-hours band meeting was necessary and at least a little bit enjoyable.
It wasn’t until Mark’s loud yawn that they realised they probably ought to go back to bed.
“Did your mother never tell you to cover your mouth!” Gary joked.
“No…but I do remember her advising me to never go up onto hotel roofs with you lot at two in the morning!” Mark replied quickly. Gary chuckled but Jason tilted his head to look over at Mark.
“What oddly specific advice your mum gave you as a kid...don’t think I ever got more than a ‘remember to tie your shoelaces’ when I was growing up,” he teased and he was satisfied to see the comment won him a small smile from Mark.
“My mum just had a gift for giving out good advice,” he said through another yawn.
“It’s two forty-five actually…” Howard put in playfully, glancing at the time on his phone.
“Jay – throw his phone off the roof for me,” Mark muttered groggily and Jason laughed.
“Alright Marko, you win. Jay’s room?” Gary said quickly, not wanting to have to learn yet another number for contacting Howard.
“Fine by me,” Howard shrugged and the four men slowly got to their feet.
“Blimey Jay, did they give you the biggest room?” Howard asked as they shuffled into Jason’s suite. Jason rolled his eyes teasingly and glanced back at Howard, amused that their natural rivalry was extending itself to room size.
“No, it just looks bigger because it’s not got wires for every gadget under the sun cluttering up all four corners,” he remarked pointedly, mischief in his eyes. Howard chuckled but had to admit defeat in the face of what was basically the truth.
“Well it’s definitely bigger than mine,” Mark put in, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“I doubt it Markie, yours is just so strewn with stuff you can’t tell how big it is anymore,” Jason said.
“He has a point mate…some of your stuff is actually strewn across my room now!” Gary laughed and Mark pouted a little as the other three men made themselves comfortable.
“Is that your excuse for wearing my scarf yesterday then?” he questioned.
“Stop your wining and give us a hug,” Gary smirked as Jason and Howard fought for space on the other side of the bed. Mark grinned, suddenly adopting a spring to his step as he threw himself across the bed, squashing his bandmates and forcing them to let out a collective groan that slowly morphed into laughter. Mark nodded, pleased with his work, and he scrambled into a cosier spot, stealing pillow room from Gary and Howard and almost causing Jason to roll off the bed.
The bed wasn’t built for four but somehow they were all drifting off to sleep easily enough. Gary smiled to himself as he looked at the three men next to him. Howard had sprawled out, one arm flopping across Jason’s face. Jason, ever noble, was somehow fast asleep beneath Howard’s intruding arm and was defying gravity as he lay rigidly on a sliver of mattress at the edge of the bed. Mark found himself in the most comfortable spot, something which none of them would begrudge him, curled up tight with his head making the most of both pillows as well as a little bit of Gary’s shoulder. As he finally felt his eyelids drooping, Gary felt sure that he had answered his question. This was the difference between then and now. This was that subtle step up from brown into gold. This wasn’t just another shade of mud, this was the crackle of autumn leaves. What’s the difference between brown and gold? Perspective? Yes. Friendship? Definitely.