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The Complete Fic Directory
- All I Do Each Night Is Rehearse The Pray Routine
- Appendicitis
- An Act Of Un-Remembrance
- Beginnings
- Better Than Today - Kylie Minogue
- Black
- Breathe Out
- Christmas Shopping
- Choreography
- Dancers
- Dangling
- Days
- Default Settings/Do You Love Me? [Part One]
- Displacement Theory [Blue]
- DJ (I Could Be Dancing) - Alphabeat
- Enchanted
- Ends (Loose And Otherwise) [Ends]
- Enemies
- Family
- Fine Time To Lose Your Mind - Jack McManus
- Fireworks
- Flat Tyres And Palm Prints [Birth]
- Flu
- Friends: A Dictionary [Friends]
- From Angels To The Moon/The Soup
- Green Light [Green]
- Hell Raisers
- Home Invasion
- Hours
- In My Veins
- Insides
- It Was The Death Of Something [Death]
- Just Like Children [Children]
- Kiss And Make Up
- The Last Time
- Lonely At Christmas
- Love Songs
- Lovers
- Middles
- Midnight Sun
- Mistletoe
- Months Go By [Months]
- More Important Than Fear
- Muddied Stars [Brown]
- Not Enough
- Of Peacocks
- On The Subject Of Angels [Orange]
- Playing House [Parents]
- The Price Of Friendship
- The Prize
- Post-Match Analysis
- Puddles
- Red
- Secret Admirer
- Secret Agent Owen
- Shades
- Shine - Skies Of America
- Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
- Snap
- So Good To See You
- Stage Fright
- Stay (Oh Darlin')
- Study In Motion
- Summertime Feeling - S Club 7
- Sunrise
- Sunset
- Teammates
- That Night In Amsterdam/Do You Love Me? [Part Two]
- This
- Three Sets Of Three
- Twenty-Nine (And A Half)
- Under A Colourless Sky [Colourless]
- We Found Something That Belongs To You [Outsides]
- We Were Strangers Once [Strangers]
- Weeks
- What Did You Say This Time?
- What Will The Papers Say? [Purple]
- White Out [White]
- The Wordsmith/Breathe In
- Years
- Yellow
- Yesterday's Promise
- 3-0 Defeats
- Barlow's Music Shop Series
- Fanfiction Challenges
- The Postcard Prompts
- OT3, OT4 & OT5
- Stories By Band Member
- Stories By Ship
- Stories By Genre
- Stories By Era
- Band-Free AUs
- Prompt Requests
- Other Fandom Fics
- Follow Me
Days
Monday had been the day that Jason had charmed the tea girl. It hadn’t really taken him all that long to get her on his lap, laughing at his jokes. There was an effortlessness to Jason, something about the way he smiled that told you there was nothing forced about him. His blue eyes could see through everything, but the insight didn’t seem to be much of a burden to him – despite those disarming eyes there was still an easiness about Jason, a gentleness to his voice that Gary thought the perfect contrast to the slight roughness of his accent. Gary had watched Howard and Jason vie for the tea girl’s attention, playful rivalry surfacing as it so often did between them. It was the modest swagger of Jason’s charm that had shone through. ‘I always thought you’d marry a dancer’ had been Gary’s tease when the girl had finally left. Jason had shrugged; ‘Who said anything about marriage, I just wanted a cuppa’. Gary could only smile at that, at the effortless way the banter tripped from their tongues. Was it Jason’s influence that they had gotten that way or was it just something about the four of them? Monday had been the day that Jason had charmed the tea girl and Gary had watched it all unfold with a quietly bemused smile.
Tuesday had been the day that they all got drunk at the hotel. Jason still refused to join in but Mark had managed to drink enough for both of them. Besides which, Jason was one of few men in the world capable of getting drunk on tea so none of them had really been looking all that clever when they’d finally disappeared up to their hotel rooms. Mark had danced around the bar and sung a bit too loudly and Howard and Jason had laughed ‘til they cried at a joke neither could remember when the laughter died down. Gary had listened intently to Mark declare his undying love for Jason to a potted plant before the smaller man had finally spotted him and thrown his arms around him. ‘I love you too mate’ Gary had slurred with drunken affection and Mark had looked up at him with a sloppy grin; ‘We’ve definitely drunk too much’. Mark had continued to bob about excitedly, his grin fixed in place. Gary knew that grin wasn’t down to the drink. It was Mark’s grin. It came naturally to him. But then none of them could stop smiling when they were together. Mark had declared, in detail, his love for all three of them by the time they staggered back to their rooms and Gary supposed he should be proud of him for managing to actually pick them out for the declarations. Or had he thought they were three more potted plants? Tuesday had been the day that they all got drunk at the hotel and Gary had thought the hangover was worth it for the fun they had had.
Wednesday had been the day that Howard had cried. The sudden influx of people into the small world they had created in the studio had simply been too much for him. Behind the laddish humour, Howard was quiet and shy and hated change. Those soft blue eyes didn’t pierce like Jason’s and instead they watched the world with a tinge of fear amidst their thoughtful depths. There was a certain awkwardness to Howard’s outward swagger that you could only catch if you knew him well. But when they stood together as a four, that awkwardness disappeared. Howard found more courage in his bandmates than anyone but the four of them truly realised. Jason’s arms were the ones that comforted him that afternoon. In that comforting embrace Howard had felt hidden from the sudden melee that none of them had really invited in and he was able to at least pretend it was just the four of them there. To his mind, the caring strength of Jason’s arms became the fortress in which the four of them could hide – a place that change could not penetrate. Later that day as they were all laughing and joking together once more, Gary had wondered at how quickly Howard had bounced back. He’d watched him teasing Jason – the same man on whose shoulder he had cried – and wondered where that tearfully shy man from earlier had gone. And then Howard had smiled at him – a brilliant, heart-felt, simple smile. The casual ‘What?’ had thrown Gary slightly but Howard had continued to look at him as if the tears had never happened so Gary had shaken his head and shrugged and joked it away – ‘Just captivated by your beauty mate’. The teasing came naturally to them and as Howard laughed Gary felt the man’s unspoken thanks for not mentioning the tears. Did Howard really lack the courage to face life’s changes without their banter or had the combination of a hangover and strangers simply been too much? Wednesday had been the day that Howard had cried and Gary had realised that he’d probably be just as lost without their friendship as Howard would be.
Thursday had been the day that they discovered Mark’s plans to leave the band. Mark had made the decision to check up on the news back home, confidently typing each of their names into the search bar and chuckling away at the things he found out. Within Mark lies a natural mischief that sparkles in his eyes and he has a face that lights up at even the smallest of things. His natural expression is a smile, often a grin, and his default setting is cheerful – it’s something Gary can never quite get over. ‘How can you be so constantly optimistic when there are so many different things to worry about?’ Gary had asked him once but Mark had simply shrugged and laughed. Mark has a laugh that’s brighter than sunshine and as infectious as hell. Before any of them knew what was happening they were all in stitches at the stories being created in their absence. Mark was leaving the band, a close source was assuring them, apparently the time was right and the band’s friendship was nowhere near as important to him as the continuation of his solo career. Mark had turned to them and informed them that it was all true and he’d be stealing all the songs from their studio session and leaving tomorrow. Jason had given him a soft smack around his head for that and Mark had grinned at them unashamedly. There was always a certain honesty about Mark’s grins that was almost bewildering to Gary. The four men had trawled gossip for at least an hour and Jason was delighted to be informed that his latest love interest was getting more serious by the second. Howard, however, had decided to burst the bubble by pointing out the fact she was none-existent and Jason had brushed them all off with jokes about being such an eligible bachelor that even the fictional girls wanted a piece of him. ‘But you know we’ll always love you mate, even if it doesn’t work out with the fictional ones’ had been Mark’s only comment in the debate. But then Mark would always love everyone he ever met on some level or another. Jason smiled though. He knew that to Mark, the three of them would always be a little more special than the other million people he loved. How could even the most desperate of tabloids ever think Mark would turn his back without so much as a goodbye? Thursday had been the day that they discovered Mark’s plans to leave the band and Gary had never heard anything so ridiculous in his life.
Friday had been the day that they all went out for lunch. Jason ate more than someone so skinny should be able to whilst Gary was convinced he’d eaten too much but Mark had still insisted they all have ice-cream. A small part of Mark would be forever five years old; he’d made sure his ice-cream had sprinkles. As the four of them sat in the LA sunshine, Gary found himself trapped in one of those moments of disbelief. He couldn’t believe that they’d got here, he couldn’t believe all the time he’d spent alone in LA when he could have spent it with them…and he couldn’t believe that Mark and Howard were flicking water at each other, even as people were starting to stare at the four of them who were all laughing hysterically at nothing at all. Their eyes were hidden by oversized shades but Gary could still tell there were moments where all four were looking at each other and wondering how exactly any of it had happened. ‘You know, I was told we were only doing a documentary and a week of promotion…how’d you rope me in to all this nonsense?!’ Jason had joked from behind a spoonful of ice-cream. Howard had rolled his eyes at him for that – ‘You love it!’. They talked about everything that afternoon, all of it, every detail. Not just their story but also stories of the world and of life and of anything under the sun. There was no topic left untouched. And although they’d already known everything about each other, Gary couldn’t help but feel they knew even more now, although it had been hard to take Mark seriously when he had sprinkles stuck to his nose. Laughter and banter came so easily under the afternoon sun that it almost took Gary by surprise when a moment of pure honesty fell upon them, but when Jason was around he’d learnt to always be prepared for a little bit of soul-searching to happen. ‘It means a lot to be listened to’ had been his words. And they’d all known what he’d meant. Gary had smiled at him and nodded gently, thoughtfully – ‘You know, this time around you always will be…listened to that is’. All of them had looked back at him with such understanding in their eyes that it had almost overwhelmed him. It was Mark who had finally spoken for them all; ‘We know’. Howard had broken the tender moment. Gary wasn’t sure what joke he’d cracked but it’d been enough and they’d moved on. The banter came back with ease but Gary still smiled to himself over those two quiet words. We know; there was so much trust in that simple statement. By the time they got back to the studio, their voices seemed to be tired of talking and instead they passed the rest of the day in easy silence. Had there been a single topic they hadn’t covered that sunny afternoon? Friday had been the day that they all went out for lunch and Gary had smiled at their quiet trust in him.
Saturday had been the day that they’d almost missed their flight. As they rushed up to the check-in desk, the girl’s finger had been hovering over the switch for ‘Closed’. One smile from Jason and she was instantly distracted. Howard had had to go back in order to pull Jason away from the desk. When they finally got through security, they were all worn out and a comfortable silence fell upon them. Jason had sipped some water nervously and stared absently at the carpet whilst Gary fell asleep waiting for their gate to come up. Gary was able to fall asleep almost anywhere, it was a skill he had perfected before the band even formed; the Northern club circuit was a tiring affair. Gary wasn’t a complicated man – a good dinner and a good night’s sleep and essentially he was happy – but he did have a way of worrying for everyone around him. He hadn’t really realised it had been happening, but the more time he spent with the band the more of the burden they silently began to shoulder for him. When Gary finally woke up he saw the others had been to the shops; they sat in a row in front of him, crowded around a copy of his book, pointing as they ooed and ahed. He cringed at the thought of them reading it and once they felt they’d tortured him long enough, the three of them had laughed so hard at his blushes that Mark’s hat fell off. It was only later that Jason confessed to him that he really had read the book a while back. His review had taken Gary by surprise somewhat; ‘You know – you worry too much Barlow’. He had tried to defy Jason’s searching gaze by commenting ‘You’re one to talk’ but Jason refused to let him revert to banter so easily and his eyes had instead met Gary’s with gentle sternness as he’d added ‘You shouldn’t be so guilty about it all. We were all too young to realise there were other people in the world’. When he really thought about it, Gary realised Jason was probably right; all he had to do was look back over their time in the studio to realise that none of the bad stuff that had gone before was as important to them as the good stuff that had come with it. It hadn’t been long before they were all laughing and chatting again, wrapped up in their friendship like it was the only thing that existed in the world. They’d been so wrapped up they’d almost missed the boarding call. How long would it have taken them to notice if they really had missed it? Saturday had been the day that they’d almost missed their flight and Gary thought that as much as he loved his bandmates, maybe it was time for a break from the heart-to-hearts that came along with all their banter.
Sunday was the day he pretended he didn’t miss them. Of course he was happy to see his family again and for the whole morning he had forgotten that he was in a band at all. He’d hugged his kids and kissed his wife and phoned his parents…and he pretended he didn’t miss them at all. He pretended he didn’t miss Mark’s drunken outpourings of love to potted plants or the way his laugh rippled with sunlight. He pretended he didn’t miss Jason’s eyes knowing everything or the casual way in which he could charm the fish from the ocean and the birds from the trees. He pretended he didn’t miss Howard’s determination to protect their friendship from the instability of the outside world or the way his softly thoughtful eyes could speak louder than a million words. Was he always this sentimental or was their friendship simply that special? Sunday was the day he pretended he didn’t miss them. And by Monday night he’d phoned them all at least once, just to say thanks for the laughs and promise them ‘I’ll see you soon’.
Tuesday had been the day that they all got drunk at the hotel. Jason still refused to join in but Mark had managed to drink enough for both of them. Besides which, Jason was one of few men in the world capable of getting drunk on tea so none of them had really been looking all that clever when they’d finally disappeared up to their hotel rooms. Mark had danced around the bar and sung a bit too loudly and Howard and Jason had laughed ‘til they cried at a joke neither could remember when the laughter died down. Gary had listened intently to Mark declare his undying love for Jason to a potted plant before the smaller man had finally spotted him and thrown his arms around him. ‘I love you too mate’ Gary had slurred with drunken affection and Mark had looked up at him with a sloppy grin; ‘We’ve definitely drunk too much’. Mark had continued to bob about excitedly, his grin fixed in place. Gary knew that grin wasn’t down to the drink. It was Mark’s grin. It came naturally to him. But then none of them could stop smiling when they were together. Mark had declared, in detail, his love for all three of them by the time they staggered back to their rooms and Gary supposed he should be proud of him for managing to actually pick them out for the declarations. Or had he thought they were three more potted plants? Tuesday had been the day that they all got drunk at the hotel and Gary had thought the hangover was worth it for the fun they had had.
Wednesday had been the day that Howard had cried. The sudden influx of people into the small world they had created in the studio had simply been too much for him. Behind the laddish humour, Howard was quiet and shy and hated change. Those soft blue eyes didn’t pierce like Jason’s and instead they watched the world with a tinge of fear amidst their thoughtful depths. There was a certain awkwardness to Howard’s outward swagger that you could only catch if you knew him well. But when they stood together as a four, that awkwardness disappeared. Howard found more courage in his bandmates than anyone but the four of them truly realised. Jason’s arms were the ones that comforted him that afternoon. In that comforting embrace Howard had felt hidden from the sudden melee that none of them had really invited in and he was able to at least pretend it was just the four of them there. To his mind, the caring strength of Jason’s arms became the fortress in which the four of them could hide – a place that change could not penetrate. Later that day as they were all laughing and joking together once more, Gary had wondered at how quickly Howard had bounced back. He’d watched him teasing Jason – the same man on whose shoulder he had cried – and wondered where that tearfully shy man from earlier had gone. And then Howard had smiled at him – a brilliant, heart-felt, simple smile. The casual ‘What?’ had thrown Gary slightly but Howard had continued to look at him as if the tears had never happened so Gary had shaken his head and shrugged and joked it away – ‘Just captivated by your beauty mate’. The teasing came naturally to them and as Howard laughed Gary felt the man’s unspoken thanks for not mentioning the tears. Did Howard really lack the courage to face life’s changes without their banter or had the combination of a hangover and strangers simply been too much? Wednesday had been the day that Howard had cried and Gary had realised that he’d probably be just as lost without their friendship as Howard would be.
Thursday had been the day that they discovered Mark’s plans to leave the band. Mark had made the decision to check up on the news back home, confidently typing each of their names into the search bar and chuckling away at the things he found out. Within Mark lies a natural mischief that sparkles in his eyes and he has a face that lights up at even the smallest of things. His natural expression is a smile, often a grin, and his default setting is cheerful – it’s something Gary can never quite get over. ‘How can you be so constantly optimistic when there are so many different things to worry about?’ Gary had asked him once but Mark had simply shrugged and laughed. Mark has a laugh that’s brighter than sunshine and as infectious as hell. Before any of them knew what was happening they were all in stitches at the stories being created in their absence. Mark was leaving the band, a close source was assuring them, apparently the time was right and the band’s friendship was nowhere near as important to him as the continuation of his solo career. Mark had turned to them and informed them that it was all true and he’d be stealing all the songs from their studio session and leaving tomorrow. Jason had given him a soft smack around his head for that and Mark had grinned at them unashamedly. There was always a certain honesty about Mark’s grins that was almost bewildering to Gary. The four men had trawled gossip for at least an hour and Jason was delighted to be informed that his latest love interest was getting more serious by the second. Howard, however, had decided to burst the bubble by pointing out the fact she was none-existent and Jason had brushed them all off with jokes about being such an eligible bachelor that even the fictional girls wanted a piece of him. ‘But you know we’ll always love you mate, even if it doesn’t work out with the fictional ones’ had been Mark’s only comment in the debate. But then Mark would always love everyone he ever met on some level or another. Jason smiled though. He knew that to Mark, the three of them would always be a little more special than the other million people he loved. How could even the most desperate of tabloids ever think Mark would turn his back without so much as a goodbye? Thursday had been the day that they discovered Mark’s plans to leave the band and Gary had never heard anything so ridiculous in his life.
Friday had been the day that they all went out for lunch. Jason ate more than someone so skinny should be able to whilst Gary was convinced he’d eaten too much but Mark had still insisted they all have ice-cream. A small part of Mark would be forever five years old; he’d made sure his ice-cream had sprinkles. As the four of them sat in the LA sunshine, Gary found himself trapped in one of those moments of disbelief. He couldn’t believe that they’d got here, he couldn’t believe all the time he’d spent alone in LA when he could have spent it with them…and he couldn’t believe that Mark and Howard were flicking water at each other, even as people were starting to stare at the four of them who were all laughing hysterically at nothing at all. Their eyes were hidden by oversized shades but Gary could still tell there were moments where all four were looking at each other and wondering how exactly any of it had happened. ‘You know, I was told we were only doing a documentary and a week of promotion…how’d you rope me in to all this nonsense?!’ Jason had joked from behind a spoonful of ice-cream. Howard had rolled his eyes at him for that – ‘You love it!’. They talked about everything that afternoon, all of it, every detail. Not just their story but also stories of the world and of life and of anything under the sun. There was no topic left untouched. And although they’d already known everything about each other, Gary couldn’t help but feel they knew even more now, although it had been hard to take Mark seriously when he had sprinkles stuck to his nose. Laughter and banter came so easily under the afternoon sun that it almost took Gary by surprise when a moment of pure honesty fell upon them, but when Jason was around he’d learnt to always be prepared for a little bit of soul-searching to happen. ‘It means a lot to be listened to’ had been his words. And they’d all known what he’d meant. Gary had smiled at him and nodded gently, thoughtfully – ‘You know, this time around you always will be…listened to that is’. All of them had looked back at him with such understanding in their eyes that it had almost overwhelmed him. It was Mark who had finally spoken for them all; ‘We know’. Howard had broken the tender moment. Gary wasn’t sure what joke he’d cracked but it’d been enough and they’d moved on. The banter came back with ease but Gary still smiled to himself over those two quiet words. We know; there was so much trust in that simple statement. By the time they got back to the studio, their voices seemed to be tired of talking and instead they passed the rest of the day in easy silence. Had there been a single topic they hadn’t covered that sunny afternoon? Friday had been the day that they all went out for lunch and Gary had smiled at their quiet trust in him.
Saturday had been the day that they’d almost missed their flight. As they rushed up to the check-in desk, the girl’s finger had been hovering over the switch for ‘Closed’. One smile from Jason and she was instantly distracted. Howard had had to go back in order to pull Jason away from the desk. When they finally got through security, they were all worn out and a comfortable silence fell upon them. Jason had sipped some water nervously and stared absently at the carpet whilst Gary fell asleep waiting for their gate to come up. Gary was able to fall asleep almost anywhere, it was a skill he had perfected before the band even formed; the Northern club circuit was a tiring affair. Gary wasn’t a complicated man – a good dinner and a good night’s sleep and essentially he was happy – but he did have a way of worrying for everyone around him. He hadn’t really realised it had been happening, but the more time he spent with the band the more of the burden they silently began to shoulder for him. When Gary finally woke up he saw the others had been to the shops; they sat in a row in front of him, crowded around a copy of his book, pointing as they ooed and ahed. He cringed at the thought of them reading it and once they felt they’d tortured him long enough, the three of them had laughed so hard at his blushes that Mark’s hat fell off. It was only later that Jason confessed to him that he really had read the book a while back. His review had taken Gary by surprise somewhat; ‘You know – you worry too much Barlow’. He had tried to defy Jason’s searching gaze by commenting ‘You’re one to talk’ but Jason refused to let him revert to banter so easily and his eyes had instead met Gary’s with gentle sternness as he’d added ‘You shouldn’t be so guilty about it all. We were all too young to realise there were other people in the world’. When he really thought about it, Gary realised Jason was probably right; all he had to do was look back over their time in the studio to realise that none of the bad stuff that had gone before was as important to them as the good stuff that had come with it. It hadn’t been long before they were all laughing and chatting again, wrapped up in their friendship like it was the only thing that existed in the world. They’d been so wrapped up they’d almost missed the boarding call. How long would it have taken them to notice if they really had missed it? Saturday had been the day that they’d almost missed their flight and Gary thought that as much as he loved his bandmates, maybe it was time for a break from the heart-to-hearts that came along with all their banter.
Sunday was the day he pretended he didn’t miss them. Of course he was happy to see his family again and for the whole morning he had forgotten that he was in a band at all. He’d hugged his kids and kissed his wife and phoned his parents…and he pretended he didn’t miss them at all. He pretended he didn’t miss Mark’s drunken outpourings of love to potted plants or the way his laugh rippled with sunlight. He pretended he didn’t miss Jason’s eyes knowing everything or the casual way in which he could charm the fish from the ocean and the birds from the trees. He pretended he didn’t miss Howard’s determination to protect their friendship from the instability of the outside world or the way his softly thoughtful eyes could speak louder than a million words. Was he always this sentimental or was their friendship simply that special? Sunday was the day he pretended he didn’t miss them. And by Monday night he’d phoned them all at least once, just to say thanks for the laughs and promise them ‘I’ll see you soon’.