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Years
Jason sat cross-legged, his guitar in his lap, watching the sunlight drip through the sky and taking a moment to enjoy the easy silence of the summer afternoon. In his life he’d spent a lot of time just thinking to himself and this morning he had presumed his day would be the same peaceful event that the rest of his week had been. Despite all the years of experience that told him who it would be on his doorstep that afternoon, he’d still been mildly surprised to see Howard. Yet, on instinct, the men had embraced warmly and before either of them really had time to work out why they were doing it they had invited Gary and Mark to join them in enjoying the day. Jason had simply stood by as his day of solitary contemplation was invaded with a sea of laughter and commotion. As he sat outside on the grass, soaking in the beads of sunlight that skittered across his face, he found that he was powerless; he had to smile. It was a nicer sort of contemplation he could fall into in their company – contemplation about their story, their friendship, their jokes.
“When did our lives become one endless series of promotion?” Gary questioned no one in particular as he finally put down his phone. Jason didn’t look up from his guitar and Mark remained flat on his back, basking in the sunlight. But from his position next to Mark, Howard grinned.
“I think it might have something to do with that band we auditioned for – just a theory!” he retorted, opening one eye and flashing Gary a cheeky smile before lying down once more.
“What promotion was that about then?” Mark asked through as yawn, stretching out and rolling onto his stomach.
“Good old Marks and Sparks would you believe,” Gary replied, idly plucking Mark’s hat from his head, spinning it round on one finger then placing it on top of his own head. Mark grinned up at him, squinting against the sunlight and Gary smiled affectionately back.
“They don’t actually want us to do anything do they?” Howard questioned but Mark cut Gary off before he could reply.
“I didn’t mind doing their advert last time…I enjoyed playing with that puppy,” he commented.
“That’s just coz you’re an overgrown puppy y’self mate,” Gary chuckled, removing the hat from his head once more and plopping it down onto Mark’s face. Mark chuckled and gave him a playful shove before putting the hat firmly back onto his head.
“How many years we been doing all this now and yet every summer we still can’t be arsed to actually work for our money!” Howard joked.
As they laughed, Jason smiled along quietly. Gary was sat at one end, Mark sprawled out on his stomach next to him with Howard lying a little further away, his eyes closed. Jason meanwhile was set a little apart from them, turned ever-so-slightly away and bent a little over his guitar. He was enjoying their summer chatter well enough, but there was something that kept bothering him. Years. Everyone kept measuring everything in years. He’d been noticing it a lot lately, everyone pointing out the number of years everything had taken to achieve. But something about the idea didn’t seem right, because essentially, the band was nothing without their friendship and that was something Jason could not bring himself to measure in simple years.
“Jay mate, you enjoying your guitar’s company that much or are you actually going to play us something soon?” Gary beamed over at him, interrupting his thoughts. Jason looked up.
“Sorry Gaz…just thinking,” he replied with a guilty shrug and Gary simply rolled his eyes with a smile.
“That makes a change,” Howard teased, giving Jason a small, playful shove with his foot. Howard and Jason exchanged a smile before Howard flopped back down into his patch of sunlight and Mark yawned loudly once more.
“Maybe you should bring it with you for the performance next week, play ‘em Wooden Boat, give my voice a rest. I’ll stay here and sleep,” he said, a small smile on his lips, his mischievous eyes remaining deliberately closed on the off chance his friends would take him seriously.
“Leave you sleeping at Jay’s place whilst we make Jay go on live TV all alone?” Howard laughed, sceptical that Mark Owen could ever follow through with a plan so cruel.
“Not all alone. You and Gaz can go,” Mark said, opening his eyes and flashing them a cheeky smile.
“First off I’d never let you get away with that and second…well, come on, since when have you ever been able to resist a live performance?!” Jason chuckled gently and Mark couldn’t dispute his argument.
Jason remembered the last performance they’d done with a fond smile. They all had their little quirks in performances, little idiosyncrasies that somehow made their performances special. Howard would close his eyes with his head to the sky and he’d look so serious it’d make Mark giggle and then the laughter would catch in seconds. That was another of their onstage habits; laughter. There was a certain laugh between them in their live performances, a moment where one would catch the eye of another and then some joke would spark up in that silent connection that made the two slowly burst into laughter, bending in towards each other as they did so. The audience could only wonder at what the joke might be, unable to resist smiling at their endearing chemistry. Jason too had his quirks. He would clap and dance and tap out the beats, looking lost in his own little world. Only his occasional glances over to the three men next to him would prove that he wasn’t completely gone. Gary was similar; he would look ever so concentrated on the words he was singing and every time there was a high note his hand would lift upwards, helping the sheer effort he was placing into every word. And then he’d smile over at one of them and you could see it in his eyes – the concentration could be broken, it just took the right person to break through. Mark was the only one of them capable of seeming completely in his own world and in tune with the whole room all at once; he would wave his microphone stand haphazardly in the air and then lean on it for support the next moment. His tiny frame would buzz and bob to a beat only Mark understood as he vibrated with pure energy, filled with his own patented brand of joyful abandon. To list these habits made them sound dysfunctional, but somehow they had never once come close to dysfunction. In fact, in Jason’s opinion, the quirks were what made their performances so special. He loved all their eccentricities and he knew that they surfaced every time they performed, had been doing so for years. Years – there it was again. But their chemistry wasn’t about a number of years. Jason would much rather measure it in secret laughter, off-beat claps and microphone stands waved recklessly in the air.
“How many years has it taken us to be able to just do this?” Gary had murmured after a suitable amount of silence had passed between them. Jason wanted to beg them not to try and count.
“You do know the only reason we’re actually able to just do this is coz we’re at Jay’s…anyone else’s place and the kids would make sure there was no peace and quiet,” Howard reminded them.
“I love ‘em and all, but they don’t half make a racket!” Gary joked. Mark turned himself over onto his back again, looking up at Gary with smiling eyes.
“I’ve heard you say that about me before now Gaz…don’t think I don’t know!” he grinned.
“Mate, I have to tell you, that time on tour, when I actually had to ask whether it was you or Elwood responsible for the rendition of ‘I’m A Little Tea Pot’ that disturbed my massage, is forever burned into my brain!” Gary replied. Howard lifted his head slightly before turning to look at Jason.
“The best part about that story is that it was actually Mark who’d been singing,” he smirked, managing to make Jason laugh softly, eyes sparkling at the memory.
“He has a point Markie,” Jason smiled across at Mark.
“Elwood got it stuck in my head!” Mark protested, pouting feebly as the others laughed at him before finally succumbing to laughter himself.
Jason never failed to be astounded by their ability to laugh at anything and later that day it hit him once again. Here they were, laughing at a joke drowned out by the tears that were forming in Gary’s eyes as he struggled to regain composure and yet he was sure nothing had happened to warrant so much amusement. As Jason placed their mugs of tea and coffee in front of them he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it was about their personalities that made all this laughing come so easily. They’d been thrown together at random. He and Howard could dance, Mark had a nice smile and Gary was talented – no matter how much they had grown in talent since then, none of them could or would try to deny the basic thinking behind their selection for the band. Really, it didn’t matter how many years they had been making music because that was entirely irrelevant to their friendship – and their friendship was really the most important thing. But it wasn’t a friendship that was measured with years. Their friendship could only be measured in the little things – like all the times they’d laughed ‘til the tears were flooding down their cheeks.
“I…I didn’t…I didn’t even finish my sentence!” Howard eventually spluttered out between laughs, but that confession only seemed to make them laugh harder.
It took a while for the conversation to become serious again, and yet eventually it did. Jason hadn’t really noticed it creep up on them but it had and before he had time to think he was the one leading them towards a pause of reflection. Gary smiled at him sadly and started talking over things and Jason looked into his eyes, listening intently to it all. They talked a little longer, now it was Howard pouring his heart out. Mark had that look of seriousness about him that always came over him when they talked over the past and he fiddled with his fingers as Howard spoke. Tracing a thumb thoughtfully across the unusually straight line of his lips, Mark looked up at last, looking at his bandmates with gently twinkling blue-grey eyes.
“I really do love you three, you know that? I didn’t really realise it back then. But looking back I know that I’ve always loved you three on some level,” he’d murmured softly. Gary had been the first to process the statement.
“I loved you all too…in my own way. I just love you in a better way now…in the right way,” he said slowly.
When they’d finally stood up from the table, they’d all embraced.
“Moving into the lounge really shouldn’t require a team huddle,” Howard smirked as Mark put his arms out hopefully but he’d joined the hug anyway. They all knew Howard loved their hugs, he was proud of their hugs. They were all very proud of their togetherness, their easiness with each other that meant they didn’t care about the physical boundaries most male friends lay out. In this friendship, there were none of the conventional boundaries – if the best way to care for someone is with a hug then so be it. It was something everyone admired about them.
“How many years have we been doing this now?” Gary chuckled as the four of them hugged each other close. Howard had replied but Jason hadn’t listened. Was he the only one that would rather know how many embraces there had been as opposed to how many years they’d happened in?
“I don’t care,” Jason suddenly said as they broke apart. The other three had looked at him oddly but he’d just laughed, slightly to himself, and shaken his head.
“Do we want to know what you’re on about Jay?” Howard had frowned.
“About the years I mean. I don’t care how many. I care how many microphone stands Mark’s wielded in the name of having fun, I care how many times Howard’s said something that’s just made us laugh so much that it’s entirely out of proportion with what’s been said, I care how many times Gaz has hugged us so close that we wouldn’t notice if the world was falling apart around our ears. The little things…they’re what’s important, what’s special about us four, you know? And I just think…I just think it needs to be said. Because we’ve known each other long enough now to know all the other stuff’s just a load of crap. In this friendship the labels aren’t needed anymore, the number of years isn’t a factor…because we just sort of…exist together, end of,” Jason finally spilled out. They all looked at him a moment, an understanding in their eyes that Jason was grateful for. And then slowly a mischievous smile began to creep onto Howard’s lips and he gave Jason’s arm a gentle squeeze, looking him in the eye.
“So come on Jay, be honest…how many years you been working on that speech?”
“When did our lives become one endless series of promotion?” Gary questioned no one in particular as he finally put down his phone. Jason didn’t look up from his guitar and Mark remained flat on his back, basking in the sunlight. But from his position next to Mark, Howard grinned.
“I think it might have something to do with that band we auditioned for – just a theory!” he retorted, opening one eye and flashing Gary a cheeky smile before lying down once more.
“What promotion was that about then?” Mark asked through as yawn, stretching out and rolling onto his stomach.
“Good old Marks and Sparks would you believe,” Gary replied, idly plucking Mark’s hat from his head, spinning it round on one finger then placing it on top of his own head. Mark grinned up at him, squinting against the sunlight and Gary smiled affectionately back.
“They don’t actually want us to do anything do they?” Howard questioned but Mark cut Gary off before he could reply.
“I didn’t mind doing their advert last time…I enjoyed playing with that puppy,” he commented.
“That’s just coz you’re an overgrown puppy y’self mate,” Gary chuckled, removing the hat from his head once more and plopping it down onto Mark’s face. Mark chuckled and gave him a playful shove before putting the hat firmly back onto his head.
“How many years we been doing all this now and yet every summer we still can’t be arsed to actually work for our money!” Howard joked.
As they laughed, Jason smiled along quietly. Gary was sat at one end, Mark sprawled out on his stomach next to him with Howard lying a little further away, his eyes closed. Jason meanwhile was set a little apart from them, turned ever-so-slightly away and bent a little over his guitar. He was enjoying their summer chatter well enough, but there was something that kept bothering him. Years. Everyone kept measuring everything in years. He’d been noticing it a lot lately, everyone pointing out the number of years everything had taken to achieve. But something about the idea didn’t seem right, because essentially, the band was nothing without their friendship and that was something Jason could not bring himself to measure in simple years.
“Jay mate, you enjoying your guitar’s company that much or are you actually going to play us something soon?” Gary beamed over at him, interrupting his thoughts. Jason looked up.
“Sorry Gaz…just thinking,” he replied with a guilty shrug and Gary simply rolled his eyes with a smile.
“That makes a change,” Howard teased, giving Jason a small, playful shove with his foot. Howard and Jason exchanged a smile before Howard flopped back down into his patch of sunlight and Mark yawned loudly once more.
“Maybe you should bring it with you for the performance next week, play ‘em Wooden Boat, give my voice a rest. I’ll stay here and sleep,” he said, a small smile on his lips, his mischievous eyes remaining deliberately closed on the off chance his friends would take him seriously.
“Leave you sleeping at Jay’s place whilst we make Jay go on live TV all alone?” Howard laughed, sceptical that Mark Owen could ever follow through with a plan so cruel.
“Not all alone. You and Gaz can go,” Mark said, opening his eyes and flashing them a cheeky smile.
“First off I’d never let you get away with that and second…well, come on, since when have you ever been able to resist a live performance?!” Jason chuckled gently and Mark couldn’t dispute his argument.
Jason remembered the last performance they’d done with a fond smile. They all had their little quirks in performances, little idiosyncrasies that somehow made their performances special. Howard would close his eyes with his head to the sky and he’d look so serious it’d make Mark giggle and then the laughter would catch in seconds. That was another of their onstage habits; laughter. There was a certain laugh between them in their live performances, a moment where one would catch the eye of another and then some joke would spark up in that silent connection that made the two slowly burst into laughter, bending in towards each other as they did so. The audience could only wonder at what the joke might be, unable to resist smiling at their endearing chemistry. Jason too had his quirks. He would clap and dance and tap out the beats, looking lost in his own little world. Only his occasional glances over to the three men next to him would prove that he wasn’t completely gone. Gary was similar; he would look ever so concentrated on the words he was singing and every time there was a high note his hand would lift upwards, helping the sheer effort he was placing into every word. And then he’d smile over at one of them and you could see it in his eyes – the concentration could be broken, it just took the right person to break through. Mark was the only one of them capable of seeming completely in his own world and in tune with the whole room all at once; he would wave his microphone stand haphazardly in the air and then lean on it for support the next moment. His tiny frame would buzz and bob to a beat only Mark understood as he vibrated with pure energy, filled with his own patented brand of joyful abandon. To list these habits made them sound dysfunctional, but somehow they had never once come close to dysfunction. In fact, in Jason’s opinion, the quirks were what made their performances so special. He loved all their eccentricities and he knew that they surfaced every time they performed, had been doing so for years. Years – there it was again. But their chemistry wasn’t about a number of years. Jason would much rather measure it in secret laughter, off-beat claps and microphone stands waved recklessly in the air.
“How many years has it taken us to be able to just do this?” Gary had murmured after a suitable amount of silence had passed between them. Jason wanted to beg them not to try and count.
“You do know the only reason we’re actually able to just do this is coz we’re at Jay’s…anyone else’s place and the kids would make sure there was no peace and quiet,” Howard reminded them.
“I love ‘em and all, but they don’t half make a racket!” Gary joked. Mark turned himself over onto his back again, looking up at Gary with smiling eyes.
“I’ve heard you say that about me before now Gaz…don’t think I don’t know!” he grinned.
“Mate, I have to tell you, that time on tour, when I actually had to ask whether it was you or Elwood responsible for the rendition of ‘I’m A Little Tea Pot’ that disturbed my massage, is forever burned into my brain!” Gary replied. Howard lifted his head slightly before turning to look at Jason.
“The best part about that story is that it was actually Mark who’d been singing,” he smirked, managing to make Jason laugh softly, eyes sparkling at the memory.
“He has a point Markie,” Jason smiled across at Mark.
“Elwood got it stuck in my head!” Mark protested, pouting feebly as the others laughed at him before finally succumbing to laughter himself.
Jason never failed to be astounded by their ability to laugh at anything and later that day it hit him once again. Here they were, laughing at a joke drowned out by the tears that were forming in Gary’s eyes as he struggled to regain composure and yet he was sure nothing had happened to warrant so much amusement. As Jason placed their mugs of tea and coffee in front of them he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it was about their personalities that made all this laughing come so easily. They’d been thrown together at random. He and Howard could dance, Mark had a nice smile and Gary was talented – no matter how much they had grown in talent since then, none of them could or would try to deny the basic thinking behind their selection for the band. Really, it didn’t matter how many years they had been making music because that was entirely irrelevant to their friendship – and their friendship was really the most important thing. But it wasn’t a friendship that was measured with years. Their friendship could only be measured in the little things – like all the times they’d laughed ‘til the tears were flooding down their cheeks.
“I…I didn’t…I didn’t even finish my sentence!” Howard eventually spluttered out between laughs, but that confession only seemed to make them laugh harder.
It took a while for the conversation to become serious again, and yet eventually it did. Jason hadn’t really noticed it creep up on them but it had and before he had time to think he was the one leading them towards a pause of reflection. Gary smiled at him sadly and started talking over things and Jason looked into his eyes, listening intently to it all. They talked a little longer, now it was Howard pouring his heart out. Mark had that look of seriousness about him that always came over him when they talked over the past and he fiddled with his fingers as Howard spoke. Tracing a thumb thoughtfully across the unusually straight line of his lips, Mark looked up at last, looking at his bandmates with gently twinkling blue-grey eyes.
“I really do love you three, you know that? I didn’t really realise it back then. But looking back I know that I’ve always loved you three on some level,” he’d murmured softly. Gary had been the first to process the statement.
“I loved you all too…in my own way. I just love you in a better way now…in the right way,” he said slowly.
When they’d finally stood up from the table, they’d all embraced.
“Moving into the lounge really shouldn’t require a team huddle,” Howard smirked as Mark put his arms out hopefully but he’d joined the hug anyway. They all knew Howard loved their hugs, he was proud of their hugs. They were all very proud of their togetherness, their easiness with each other that meant they didn’t care about the physical boundaries most male friends lay out. In this friendship, there were none of the conventional boundaries – if the best way to care for someone is with a hug then so be it. It was something everyone admired about them.
“How many years have we been doing this now?” Gary chuckled as the four of them hugged each other close. Howard had replied but Jason hadn’t listened. Was he the only one that would rather know how many embraces there had been as opposed to how many years they’d happened in?
“I don’t care,” Jason suddenly said as they broke apart. The other three had looked at him oddly but he’d just laughed, slightly to himself, and shaken his head.
“Do we want to know what you’re on about Jay?” Howard had frowned.
“About the years I mean. I don’t care how many. I care how many microphone stands Mark’s wielded in the name of having fun, I care how many times Howard’s said something that’s just made us laugh so much that it’s entirely out of proportion with what’s been said, I care how many times Gaz has hugged us so close that we wouldn’t notice if the world was falling apart around our ears. The little things…they’re what’s important, what’s special about us four, you know? And I just think…I just think it needs to be said. Because we’ve known each other long enough now to know all the other stuff’s just a load of crap. In this friendship the labels aren’t needed anymore, the number of years isn’t a factor…because we just sort of…exist together, end of,” Jason finally spilled out. They all looked at him a moment, an understanding in their eyes that Jason was grateful for. And then slowly a mischievous smile began to creep onto Howard’s lips and he gave Jason’s arm a gentle squeeze, looking him in the eye.
“So come on Jay, be honest…how many years you been working on that speech?”