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The Complete Fic Directory
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- Fine Time To Lose Your Mind - Jack McManus
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- Flat Tyres And Palm Prints [Birth]
- Flu
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- From Angels To The Moon/The Soup
- Green Light [Green]
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- It Was The Death Of Something [Death]
- Just Like Children [Children]
- Kiss And Make Up
- The Last Time
- Lonely At Christmas
- Love Songs
- Lovers
- Middles
- Midnight Sun
- Mistletoe
- Months Go By [Months]
- More Important Than Fear
- Muddied Stars [Brown]
- Not Enough
- Of Peacocks
- On The Subject Of Angels [Orange]
- Playing House [Parents]
- The Price Of Friendship
- The Prize
- Post-Match Analysis
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- Secret Admirer
- Secret Agent Owen
- Shades
- Shine - Skies Of America
- Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
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- So Good To See You
- Stage Fright
- Stay (Oh Darlin')
- Study In Motion
- Summertime Feeling - S Club 7
- Sunrise
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- Teammates
- That Night In Amsterdam/Do You Love Me? [Part Two]
- This
- Three Sets Of Three
- Twenty-Nine (And A Half)
- Under A Colourless Sky [Colourless]
- We Found Something That Belongs To You [Outsides]
- We Were Strangers Once [Strangers]
- Weeks
- What Did You Say This Time?
- What Will The Papers Say? [Purple]
- White Out [White]
- The Wordsmith/Breathe In
- Years
- Yellow
- Yesterday's Promise
- 3-0 Defeats
- Barlow's Music Shop Series
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- OT3, OT4 & OT5
- Stories By Band Member
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Months Go By [Months]
January is supposed to be miserable. And Gary knows this because there’s frost on the ground and the sky is grey and if he puts one foot out of the door it turns to ice in seconds. But there’s always something about January that melts him every time and that’s Mark. Gary knows the minute Mark appears that he’s going to force him to step outside. Because Mark can find a smile in anything, even January. Mark can thwart frost and grey and icy wind by finding the joy in it and Gary’s sure no human heart should really be big enough to find joy in January the way Mark does. He’s grinning and smiling and bobbing about in the garden and it’s making Gary smile despite himself. January; the frost is too slippy and the sky is too grey and the air is much too cold, but Mark’s got snow in his hair and it looks like a halo as the winter light glows gold on his smiling face.
February makes him laugh. Gary’s well aware that that shouldn’t be true; it’s raining outside and the sky’s full of clouds and the whole month is a bit of a non-event as far as he can tell. But February does have one highlight. Mark’s planning outfits and Howard’s worrying about a speech and Jason’s wondering who he should take with him and Gary just watches them all planning with an amused smile on his face. The outfits will be ruined at the end of the night, they never plan their speeches – they’re usually convinced they’re not going to win – and whoever Jason takes probably won’t understand half the jokes the four of them will exchange. Gary seems to be the only one who remembers that February is for laughs. In the end they’re all up at the microphone, baffled and bemused. God knows what they’re saying but they’re having a laugh. Howard’s lost for words, Jason’s mind is all over the place and Gary doesn’t want to look like he’s hogging the mic. Mark’s too drunk to make that much sense at all but in true Mark style he’s determined to thank every person he’s ever known and Gary finds himself laughing because he’s powerless not to. They’re looking like four befuddled dads but he supposes that the whole thing does befuddle them a bit. Mark’s laughing and it spreads like wildfire because Mark’s laughs are filled with so much life. They just keep laughing – they all laugh until their bodies are aching – and for some reason they’ve trusted Mark to hold the award. February; outside it’s raining and the sky’s full of clouds and the whole month is a bit of a non-event really, but Mark’s eyes are shining pools of warmth – animated and intense at once – and his laugher is keeping the month alive.
March is something rather strange. The grass seems greener and the sun seems brighter but it’s still raining outside and the daffodils are out too early. As much as Gary likes March he’s finding it hard – he’s one of these people for whom boredom is not an option and so he’s throwing himself into his family far more than they can really cope with. And then Mark appears all brightness and bubble. When Gary’s low Mark’s there holding his hand and everything about him is so honest and sincere that Gary begins to think maybe the daffodils aren’t out too soon – Mark will make them grow. Boredom and sadness are soon forgotten in Mark’s flurry of laughter and ceaseless chatter. March; it’s odd that the grass is looking greener and the sun is looking brighter whilst at the same time the rain is falling. But Mark still goes out there and as they’re both standing laughing in the spray, Gary is sure the only reason the daffodils are here is to get a glimpse of the beautiful man who’s letting the rain fall down onto his closed eyelids, a smile still plastered on his face.
April is the month where he really needs some help. It’s always the same. He’s not miserable, just stuck in some sort of rut and he’s gotten used to April being that way. It’s nothing to do with the month itself, it’s his own fault he’s sure of that, but he blames the month all the same. And Mark is there for him and he holds out his hand and he pulls Gary up again. Mark erases the grey with a single smile and he’s looking at Gary with a gentle grace that reassures him Mark doesn’t think he’s completely mad. Mark concludes it’s a silly month and that simple statement makes Gary chuckle. It’s such a Mark thing to say. Does it even make sense? Probably not but it makes him smile and that’s Mark all over. April; it’s always the same old story but at least Mark’s always there with his repertoire of one-liners and his face filled with years’ worth of world-righting smiles.
May is just gorgeous, no one can deny it. The kids are running round the garden and his wife is standing in the sunlight – summer is really on its way now. The four of them always see a lot of each other in May, the sunshine just seems to make everyone feel social and they’re no more immune to it than the rest of the country. Jason sees a lot of him in May and Howard hardly seems to go home and May is the only month where Gary ever worries that maybe Mark has had enough of him. But Mark’s voice is suddenly sparking down the phone, full of tipsy optimism. And Gary can’t really blame it on drink, because if Mark was drunk he would never have managed to key in Gary’s phone number. And Gary can’t blame it on the sunshine either – although he can blame Jason’s pink tinge and Howard’s laid-back smile on the weather, that much he does know. But Gary doesn’t know who to blame Mark’s blind enthusiasm on. ‘Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?’ are Gary’s exact words, but Mark laughs brightly back – ‘I’ll tell me mam you said that!’ he quickly retorts. May; the kids are having a blast under the sunshine and Dawn is smiling beneath its glow because they all know summer is coming and yet it isn’t summer that’s playing on Gary’s mind – instead he’s thinking to himself just how much he has to thank Mark’s mother for.
June through to August always makes him think of touring. The arms all swaying and the four of them standing side by side – they’re all indestructible in that position; with the other three at their sides. When they’re touring now he often looks across at them all and something in his chest just wants to burst. Pride and joy and definitely love all swelling in his heart, and if he wasn’t so awed and excited by the crowd he’s not sure he’d be breathing. He is sure he’d be flinging his arms around the three of them and the great thing is he knows it wouldn’t even be to their surprise – they all feel it. Mark is beaming so brightly that it’s putting the stage lights to shame and as his eyes take in the crowd before them Gary can see he just wants to throw his arms around the lot of them and thank them a million times from the bottom of his very big heart. Mark is a man whose love for life has led him to lead a life filled with love in a way that is truly unique. There is more love in Mark’s smile alone than in anyone else Gary has ever met. June through to August; the crowd are all swaying their arms in time and the four of them are standing next to each other where they know they are strong and Mark’s simple smile is reaching out to everyone in the audience and every single member of the band and the crew and the cast…and it’s magical.
September is busy but he enjoys every minute. The air is gold and brown and calm. There’s a warm and dusty Mancunian swagger to September that makes him think of Jason, but he keeps that thought to himself. Mark is bubbly as ever in September, although they all notice that the way the leaves start to whirl slowly down from the trees somehow takes the wind out of Mark’s sails. And now it’s their turn to be upbeat for him. They don’t do it half as well but they all leap at the chance to try. Gary is there making him laugh and then there’s Jason with his warm embrace and Howard, as usual, is finding the perfect balance between taking the mick and providing thoughtful insight. September; the colours of the month are so rich and warm and whilst Mark’s face falls slightly with the autumn leaves it doesn’t last long because he’s never had a bad word to say about anyone or anything and a few brown leaves are never going to change that.
October is warm and sleepy. Gary enjoys it as the fire is crackling in the fire place and the curtains are drawn, so to hell with the real temperature coz it’s cosy in here. A lot of time is spent on the sofa in October, curled up with his kids or his wife or all of them at once. But he also spends a lot of time on that sofa with the band; they’re not just his friends they’re a part of his family and they’ve earned their sofa time just as much as Dawn and the kids. Even Mark is quite quiet as they sit there late into the night. Jason murmurs something about getting home but none of them are moving and Mark simply smiles up at them with those eyes of his glowing softly in the dim firelight; ‘We are home Jay’ he mumbles in protest and no more is said about going anywhere. October; the fire is so warm and it doesn’t matter what’s happening outside that room because they’re happy where they are and as usual Mark’s managed to flaw them with his gentle honesty.
November will always be their time for fun. There are parties to go to and fireworks to watch and almost all their kids are about old enough to be trusted with sparklers. All their eyes are up at the sky and there are four bright smiles in place on their faces as their families all look up. There’s a childish glee that Gary sees in Mark’s smile that’s just as innocent as any of their children’s. But the problem of Mark being there is that the fireworks suddenly seem less impressive; Mark’s smile is a million times as dazzling as any of those crackling showers of purple and gold. Jason is warming his hands by the bonfire and Howard is playing with the kids and Gary and Mark get talking about just how good it is to have this connection between the four of them. They both admit shyly that they never even touched this level of friendship first time around. But at the same time that’s simply testament to how close they were before – if they hadn’t been close back then, it would’ve taken them so much longer to be the way they are now. November; there are parties and fireworks left right and centre but their party tonight is by far Gary’s favourite because they’ve decided that their kids are now just about old enough to be trusted with sparklers, although he can’t help but keep an eagle eye on Mark who is swizzling a sparkler in delight.
December is a time for family and magic. The kids are getting excited and the decorations are all up and Gary is beginning to wonder if Mark still believes in Santa, because he really is very hyper and it gets worse with each day. There’s actually snow outside Mark’s house and Mark is just as amazed by it as Elwood. Gary, Howard and Jason exchange a softly amused glance as Mark runs about the house all chaos and smiles. He’s like a puppy tangled up in Christmas tinsel and the usual note of glee in his voice is heightened tenfold. He’s twinkling like the fairy-lights and as the three men watch him rushing around they all feel very lucky to have him in their lives – he is so blatantly and completely special. Gary smiles and insists Mark sits down and Mark all but jumps on top of him at that and they’re all laughing in seconds. As their families slowly appear to join in the fun Gary knows this is what Christmas is really all about. December; the decorations are all around and the kids are almost as excited as Mark. Gary knows he’s very blessed to have Mark guiding him through every month up to this and as he stands on the doorstep with his family, just about to head home, his smile at the smaller man is full of love and quiet respect; ‘God bless ya mate’ he says gently as they embrace goodbye.
This is the way his months go by. Each year it happens the same way. Change happens, the world drifts on. And month by month Gary watches in fascination as Mark smiles on unphased.
February makes him laugh. Gary’s well aware that that shouldn’t be true; it’s raining outside and the sky’s full of clouds and the whole month is a bit of a non-event as far as he can tell. But February does have one highlight. Mark’s planning outfits and Howard’s worrying about a speech and Jason’s wondering who he should take with him and Gary just watches them all planning with an amused smile on his face. The outfits will be ruined at the end of the night, they never plan their speeches – they’re usually convinced they’re not going to win – and whoever Jason takes probably won’t understand half the jokes the four of them will exchange. Gary seems to be the only one who remembers that February is for laughs. In the end they’re all up at the microphone, baffled and bemused. God knows what they’re saying but they’re having a laugh. Howard’s lost for words, Jason’s mind is all over the place and Gary doesn’t want to look like he’s hogging the mic. Mark’s too drunk to make that much sense at all but in true Mark style he’s determined to thank every person he’s ever known and Gary finds himself laughing because he’s powerless not to. They’re looking like four befuddled dads but he supposes that the whole thing does befuddle them a bit. Mark’s laughing and it spreads like wildfire because Mark’s laughs are filled with so much life. They just keep laughing – they all laugh until their bodies are aching – and for some reason they’ve trusted Mark to hold the award. February; outside it’s raining and the sky’s full of clouds and the whole month is a bit of a non-event really, but Mark’s eyes are shining pools of warmth – animated and intense at once – and his laugher is keeping the month alive.
March is something rather strange. The grass seems greener and the sun seems brighter but it’s still raining outside and the daffodils are out too early. As much as Gary likes March he’s finding it hard – he’s one of these people for whom boredom is not an option and so he’s throwing himself into his family far more than they can really cope with. And then Mark appears all brightness and bubble. When Gary’s low Mark’s there holding his hand and everything about him is so honest and sincere that Gary begins to think maybe the daffodils aren’t out too soon – Mark will make them grow. Boredom and sadness are soon forgotten in Mark’s flurry of laughter and ceaseless chatter. March; it’s odd that the grass is looking greener and the sun is looking brighter whilst at the same time the rain is falling. But Mark still goes out there and as they’re both standing laughing in the spray, Gary is sure the only reason the daffodils are here is to get a glimpse of the beautiful man who’s letting the rain fall down onto his closed eyelids, a smile still plastered on his face.
April is the month where he really needs some help. It’s always the same. He’s not miserable, just stuck in some sort of rut and he’s gotten used to April being that way. It’s nothing to do with the month itself, it’s his own fault he’s sure of that, but he blames the month all the same. And Mark is there for him and he holds out his hand and he pulls Gary up again. Mark erases the grey with a single smile and he’s looking at Gary with a gentle grace that reassures him Mark doesn’t think he’s completely mad. Mark concludes it’s a silly month and that simple statement makes Gary chuckle. It’s such a Mark thing to say. Does it even make sense? Probably not but it makes him smile and that’s Mark all over. April; it’s always the same old story but at least Mark’s always there with his repertoire of one-liners and his face filled with years’ worth of world-righting smiles.
May is just gorgeous, no one can deny it. The kids are running round the garden and his wife is standing in the sunlight – summer is really on its way now. The four of them always see a lot of each other in May, the sunshine just seems to make everyone feel social and they’re no more immune to it than the rest of the country. Jason sees a lot of him in May and Howard hardly seems to go home and May is the only month where Gary ever worries that maybe Mark has had enough of him. But Mark’s voice is suddenly sparking down the phone, full of tipsy optimism. And Gary can’t really blame it on drink, because if Mark was drunk he would never have managed to key in Gary’s phone number. And Gary can’t blame it on the sunshine either – although he can blame Jason’s pink tinge and Howard’s laid-back smile on the weather, that much he does know. But Gary doesn’t know who to blame Mark’s blind enthusiasm on. ‘Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?’ are Gary’s exact words, but Mark laughs brightly back – ‘I’ll tell me mam you said that!’ he quickly retorts. May; the kids are having a blast under the sunshine and Dawn is smiling beneath its glow because they all know summer is coming and yet it isn’t summer that’s playing on Gary’s mind – instead he’s thinking to himself just how much he has to thank Mark’s mother for.
June through to August always makes him think of touring. The arms all swaying and the four of them standing side by side – they’re all indestructible in that position; with the other three at their sides. When they’re touring now he often looks across at them all and something in his chest just wants to burst. Pride and joy and definitely love all swelling in his heart, and if he wasn’t so awed and excited by the crowd he’s not sure he’d be breathing. He is sure he’d be flinging his arms around the three of them and the great thing is he knows it wouldn’t even be to their surprise – they all feel it. Mark is beaming so brightly that it’s putting the stage lights to shame and as his eyes take in the crowd before them Gary can see he just wants to throw his arms around the lot of them and thank them a million times from the bottom of his very big heart. Mark is a man whose love for life has led him to lead a life filled with love in a way that is truly unique. There is more love in Mark’s smile alone than in anyone else Gary has ever met. June through to August; the crowd are all swaying their arms in time and the four of them are standing next to each other where they know they are strong and Mark’s simple smile is reaching out to everyone in the audience and every single member of the band and the crew and the cast…and it’s magical.
September is busy but he enjoys every minute. The air is gold and brown and calm. There’s a warm and dusty Mancunian swagger to September that makes him think of Jason, but he keeps that thought to himself. Mark is bubbly as ever in September, although they all notice that the way the leaves start to whirl slowly down from the trees somehow takes the wind out of Mark’s sails. And now it’s their turn to be upbeat for him. They don’t do it half as well but they all leap at the chance to try. Gary is there making him laugh and then there’s Jason with his warm embrace and Howard, as usual, is finding the perfect balance between taking the mick and providing thoughtful insight. September; the colours of the month are so rich and warm and whilst Mark’s face falls slightly with the autumn leaves it doesn’t last long because he’s never had a bad word to say about anyone or anything and a few brown leaves are never going to change that.
October is warm and sleepy. Gary enjoys it as the fire is crackling in the fire place and the curtains are drawn, so to hell with the real temperature coz it’s cosy in here. A lot of time is spent on the sofa in October, curled up with his kids or his wife or all of them at once. But he also spends a lot of time on that sofa with the band; they’re not just his friends they’re a part of his family and they’ve earned their sofa time just as much as Dawn and the kids. Even Mark is quite quiet as they sit there late into the night. Jason murmurs something about getting home but none of them are moving and Mark simply smiles up at them with those eyes of his glowing softly in the dim firelight; ‘We are home Jay’ he mumbles in protest and no more is said about going anywhere. October; the fire is so warm and it doesn’t matter what’s happening outside that room because they’re happy where they are and as usual Mark’s managed to flaw them with his gentle honesty.
November will always be their time for fun. There are parties to go to and fireworks to watch and almost all their kids are about old enough to be trusted with sparklers. All their eyes are up at the sky and there are four bright smiles in place on their faces as their families all look up. There’s a childish glee that Gary sees in Mark’s smile that’s just as innocent as any of their children’s. But the problem of Mark being there is that the fireworks suddenly seem less impressive; Mark’s smile is a million times as dazzling as any of those crackling showers of purple and gold. Jason is warming his hands by the bonfire and Howard is playing with the kids and Gary and Mark get talking about just how good it is to have this connection between the four of them. They both admit shyly that they never even touched this level of friendship first time around. But at the same time that’s simply testament to how close they were before – if they hadn’t been close back then, it would’ve taken them so much longer to be the way they are now. November; there are parties and fireworks left right and centre but their party tonight is by far Gary’s favourite because they’ve decided that their kids are now just about old enough to be trusted with sparklers, although he can’t help but keep an eagle eye on Mark who is swizzling a sparkler in delight.
December is a time for family and magic. The kids are getting excited and the decorations are all up and Gary is beginning to wonder if Mark still believes in Santa, because he really is very hyper and it gets worse with each day. There’s actually snow outside Mark’s house and Mark is just as amazed by it as Elwood. Gary, Howard and Jason exchange a softly amused glance as Mark runs about the house all chaos and smiles. He’s like a puppy tangled up in Christmas tinsel and the usual note of glee in his voice is heightened tenfold. He’s twinkling like the fairy-lights and as the three men watch him rushing around they all feel very lucky to have him in their lives – he is so blatantly and completely special. Gary smiles and insists Mark sits down and Mark all but jumps on top of him at that and they’re all laughing in seconds. As their families slowly appear to join in the fun Gary knows this is what Christmas is really all about. December; the decorations are all around and the kids are almost as excited as Mark. Gary knows he’s very blessed to have Mark guiding him through every month up to this and as he stands on the doorstep with his family, just about to head home, his smile at the smaller man is full of love and quiet respect; ‘God bless ya mate’ he says gently as they embrace goodbye.
This is the way his months go by. Each year it happens the same way. Change happens, the world drifts on. And month by month Gary watches in fascination as Mark smiles on unphased.