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The Complete Fic Directory
- All I Do Each Night Is Rehearse The Pray Routine
- Appendicitis
- An Act Of Un-Remembrance
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- Better Than Today - Kylie Minogue
- Black
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- Dangling
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- Default Settings/Do You Love Me? [Part One]
- Displacement Theory [Blue]
- DJ (I Could Be Dancing) - Alphabeat
- Enchanted
- Ends (Loose And Otherwise) [Ends]
- Enemies
- Family
- Fine Time To Lose Your Mind - Jack McManus
- Fireworks
- Flat Tyres And Palm Prints [Birth]
- Flu
- Friends: A Dictionary [Friends]
- From Angels To The Moon/The Soup
- Green Light [Green]
- Hell Raisers
- Home Invasion
- Hours
- In My Veins
- Insides
- It Was The Death Of Something [Death]
- Just Like Children [Children]
- Kiss And Make Up
- The Last Time
- Lonely At Christmas
- Love Songs
- Lovers
- Middles
- Midnight Sun
- Mistletoe
- Months Go By [Months]
- More Important Than Fear
- Muddied Stars [Brown]
- Not Enough
- Of Peacocks
- On The Subject Of Angels [Orange]
- Playing House [Parents]
- The Price Of Friendship
- The Prize
- Post-Match Analysis
- Puddles
- Red
- Secret Admirer
- Secret Agent Owen
- Shades
- Shine - Skies Of America
- Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
- Snap
- So Good To See You
- Stage Fright
- Stay (Oh Darlin')
- Study In Motion
- Summertime Feeling - S Club 7
- Sunrise
- Sunset
- Teammates
- That Night In Amsterdam/Do You Love Me? [Part Two]
- This
- Three Sets Of Three
- Twenty-Nine (And A Half)
- Under A Colourless Sky [Colourless]
- We Found Something That Belongs To You [Outsides]
- We Were Strangers Once [Strangers]
- Weeks
- What Did You Say This Time?
- What Will The Papers Say? [Purple]
- White Out [White]
- The Wordsmith/Breathe In
- Years
- Yellow
- Yesterday's Promise
- 3-0 Defeats
- Barlow's Music Shop Series
- Fanfiction Challenges
- The Postcard Prompts
- OT3, OT4 & OT5
- Stories By Band Member
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- Stories By Era
- Band-Free AUs
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Insides
Jason felt his insides turn over one more time and Gary regarded him carefully from over the top of his newspaper, noting that the man had turned a rather interesting shade of grey. He suspected Jason hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Jason’s hang-ups and habits were often the subject of band jokes but their laughter was not a sign of their level of understanding of him. Jason was often the first to poke fun at his quirks and whilst the others allowed themselves to laugh at his expense, when it really came down to it, they were nothing but caring towards him. When it came to his singing, they were encouraging without being patronising. When it came to his insomnia, they were sympathetic without wrapping him up in cotton wool. But when it came to his dislike of flying, they were all at something of a loss. Gary himself had never been too fond of flying, but not in the same way as Jason. Gary disliked flying in a mildly stressed manner that rarely showed on his face. Jason, meanwhile, disliked flying in a very Jason way; he thought about it too much. He could come up with a hundred different reasons why planes should logically be incapable of flight in one hour flat.
The room was very quiet as they waited for Mark to arrive. Howard had arrived shortly after Gary and both of them had noticed the large shades hiding Jason’s eyes from them, both of them exchanging a worried glance at his uncharacteristic silence. They knew Jason didn’t like flying, but somehow this morning he seemed to have entered a new level of disconcertedness. However, Howard had promptly disappeared to grab himself a coffee, leaving Gary alone in the vigil over Jason, who seemed to think he was in a sitting for Madame Tussauds he was so still. Gary sighed, crinkling his paper slightly in a vain attempt at convincing Jason he was actually reading it. Nothing got past Jason though, and even from behind the sunglasses Gary could feel Jason’s blue eyes casting him a piercing glance. Promotional tours always made Jason edgy; whilst the show-off in Jason would pounce on every opportunity to put on a show, the worrier in him had a fear of live TV at the best of times, never mind when he had to get on a plane to get there.
Just as Gary was trying to work out what to say, the door opened and both Gary and Jason turned to see Mark bobbing into the room – Elwood in his arms, his coat buttons done up wrongly, his scarf wrapped around him so many times it had to be longer than he was and his hat clinging on for dear life (despite Elwood’s best attempts to dislodge it.)
“Afternoon Mark,” Gary smiled jokingly, folding his paper up.
“Mornin’ Gaz,” Mark beamed back shamelessly as Elwood twisted around in his arms.
“So are we taking both versions of you to Germany then?” Jason asked, nodding at Elwood and sounding at least mildly cheered by Mark’s arrival. Gary chuckled.
“I think one Owen on board is enough for any flight!” he said. Jason’s insides did another backflip at the mere mention of the word flight but Mark grinned back at them, oblivious, and shook his head.
“He’s just coming to say goodbye.”
“Jason!” Elwood suddenly exclaimed with elation, bringing the attention of all three men to him. They looked at him in bemusement for a moment as he struggled in Mark’s arms, reaching out towards Jason excitedly.
“Jason!” he insisted again and, deciding that no one was going to help him, he somehow slipped free of Mark’s grasp. Sliding down to the floor, Elwood was next to Jason in an instant, clambering boldly on to the man’s knee.
“Hello,” Jason said simply, a mildly bewildered smile on his lips. Gary couldn’t help but notice how Elwood’s happiness was almost as effective as his father’s at lifting the spirits of a person and Jason was no exception; his grey complexion now a marginally more acceptable shade of white.
“Hello Jason!” Elwood grinned from his place in Jason’s lap, looking up at him with joyful eyes.
“You’re definitely too soft on that one mate…if one of mine had been demanding Jason, I would’ve given ‘em to Howard immediately, just to make a point,” Gary commented to Mark and Mark laughed; they both knew that was a lie. Gary was well aware that he had pretty much written the manual on how to spoil children and he knew that even if his kids were demanding to spend time with Jason, in Australia, on a yacht, eating Chinese food, he would find a way to make it happen.
“Are my ears burning?” came Howard’s voice as he returned, coffee in hand.
“Nah, Gaz is just attempting parenting advice,” Mark replied and Howard let out a laugh.
“Alright, try not to spit your coffee out!” Gary defended with a grin.
“If it’s tips you want, ask Jay. I don’t know what his trick is but my girls bloody love him. Grace practically bit my hand off last time I suggested we went round his,” Howard shrugged and Jason tried to hide the slightly proud smile that touched his lips.
“Why do you and daddy have to go Jason?” Elwood asked, surprising Jason slightly.
“We’ve got to keep your dad in hats and scarves somehow,” Gary remarked and whilst his bandmates laughed, Elwood shot him a remarkably pointed look for such a young child.
“That’s you told,” Howard commented with a grin but their eyes were all still fixed on Jason and Elwood. Jason worked some sort of magic on children. Hyper, crying, stroppy – hand them over to Jason and within minutes they were placid and happy , halos polished and sitting back neatly on the tops of their heads. Gary recalled that shortly after Christmas, on a band visit to Mark’s, a very distressed Willow had, for some reason, been plonked into Jason’s arms and almost instantaneously a contentedness had spread across the baby’s face, proving that all of the Take That children adored Jason, even those too young to know who exactly Jason was.
“There you go,” Jason said gently as he placed his sunglasses on to Elwood’s face. Elwood beamed.
“Now you can go instead of me,” Jason decided with a small nod and Gary smirked, rolling his eyes. That was what he was up to. Elwood wrinkled his nose.
“Can’t I go instead of Gary?” he asked and Gary pulled an outraged expression.
“Your kid has definitely got it in for me…” he said after a moment, glancing across at Mark. Mark smiled in soft amusement, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging.
“Well someone has to keep you in line,” he teased.
“I’ve lost all respect from you lot,” Gary concluded dramatically and the others laughed at him.
“Please can I come on the plane with you? I can sit on your knee and daddy can sing and I can play your guitar and Howard can come too, it’ll be really fun Jason!” Elwood babbled without pausing for breath. Jason felt his insides lurch one more time. He would happily go along with the plan providing Elwood removed the plane part.
“No can do I’m afraid,” Jason sighed.
“Will you tell daddy to get me a present?” Elwood asked with a small pout .
“Deal,” Jason nodded, offering out a palm to the small boy. Elwood quickly broke into a grin and high-fived Jason with enthusiasm. Mark couldn’t help but beam at the sight.
A moment later, the door opened again and this time Emma appeared.
“Hello…don’t suppose you’ve seen a small boy around here anywhere? About so big, can’t stop grinning, fond of trouble?” she smiled at them, her eyes sparkling.
“You mean him?” Howard asked, jabbing a thumb in Mark’s direction and grinning playfully.
“Close Howard, very close,” Emma laughed, going over to scoop Elwood up from Jason’s lap.
“Sure you don’t want to keep him? We’ll take the pocket edition instead,” Howard offered, nodding towards Elwood. Emma shook her head, laughter on her lips. Then, she glanced back over at Jason.
“Are you ok Jason, you haven’t flirted with me once since I stepped into the room!” she said teasingly and Jason shot her a weary smile.
“Jay has issues with improbable modes of transport. You’ll just about coax him on to a boat, but a plane? They’re just getting the horse tranquilisers sorted at the moment, then we can set off,” Gary put in before Jason could speak. Emma smiled at Jason sympathetically before planting a kiss on each of the boys’ cheeks.
“Good luck boys,” she said, giving Mark his kiss and an extra hug for good measure and Mark bent in close to give Elwood a hug too.
“Imissou,” Elwood mumbled in to his shoulder and Mark grinned.
“I’ll miss you too,” he said softly, giving the boy a kiss.
As Emma made her way out, Elwood scrambled about in her arms so he could see over her shoulder.
“Bye bye Howard and Jason…and Gary!” he called back and Gary laughed at the small boy’s peace offering before glancing back at Jason. The shades were back in place now; tired, nervous blue eyes sheltering behind the dark black lenses.
“Car’s ready boys,” came a call from the door. Jason felt his insides turn over yet again and Howard, Mark and Gary exchanged a glance as the ominous grey colour filled their friend’s cheeks once more. Jason was always there for all of them. For Howard he was a lifeline, for Mark he was a listening ear and for Gary he was a better perspective. At that moment, they each felt somehow inadequate; he was so brilliant at being there for them and yet none of them could find the right words for him.
It wasn’t until the plane was off the ground, Mark had fallen asleep on a sleeping Gary’s shoulder and Jason had spent ten minutes clutching a water bottle and staring out of the window tensely, that Howard finally found the only words that could be said.
“For God’s sake Jay, cheer up! You look bloody awful!” he said, elbowing Jason gently in the side. Jason turned away from the window, meeting Howard’s shining blue eyes and letting a soft smile spread across his face. His knotted insides suddenly didn’t trouble him so much.
“You try looking good when you’ve got as many things spinning round in your head as I have,” he replied calmly and Howard rolled his eyes.
“No one could ever have as many things going on in their head as you do Jay!” Howard grinned and Jason laughed, glancing back out of the window thoughtfully. Mark wriggled his nose in his sleep as Gary’s head flopped sideways to come and rest on top of his. Jason sighed and took a sip of his water, finally looking away from the window and Howard gave him a friendly and somehow meaningful nudge on the shoulder. It was only then that Jason’s insides finally unknotted themselves and Howard’s face was filled with a satisfied smile.
The room was very quiet as they waited for Mark to arrive. Howard had arrived shortly after Gary and both of them had noticed the large shades hiding Jason’s eyes from them, both of them exchanging a worried glance at his uncharacteristic silence. They knew Jason didn’t like flying, but somehow this morning he seemed to have entered a new level of disconcertedness. However, Howard had promptly disappeared to grab himself a coffee, leaving Gary alone in the vigil over Jason, who seemed to think he was in a sitting for Madame Tussauds he was so still. Gary sighed, crinkling his paper slightly in a vain attempt at convincing Jason he was actually reading it. Nothing got past Jason though, and even from behind the sunglasses Gary could feel Jason’s blue eyes casting him a piercing glance. Promotional tours always made Jason edgy; whilst the show-off in Jason would pounce on every opportunity to put on a show, the worrier in him had a fear of live TV at the best of times, never mind when he had to get on a plane to get there.
Just as Gary was trying to work out what to say, the door opened and both Gary and Jason turned to see Mark bobbing into the room – Elwood in his arms, his coat buttons done up wrongly, his scarf wrapped around him so many times it had to be longer than he was and his hat clinging on for dear life (despite Elwood’s best attempts to dislodge it.)
“Afternoon Mark,” Gary smiled jokingly, folding his paper up.
“Mornin’ Gaz,” Mark beamed back shamelessly as Elwood twisted around in his arms.
“So are we taking both versions of you to Germany then?” Jason asked, nodding at Elwood and sounding at least mildly cheered by Mark’s arrival. Gary chuckled.
“I think one Owen on board is enough for any flight!” he said. Jason’s insides did another backflip at the mere mention of the word flight but Mark grinned back at them, oblivious, and shook his head.
“He’s just coming to say goodbye.”
“Jason!” Elwood suddenly exclaimed with elation, bringing the attention of all three men to him. They looked at him in bemusement for a moment as he struggled in Mark’s arms, reaching out towards Jason excitedly.
“Jason!” he insisted again and, deciding that no one was going to help him, he somehow slipped free of Mark’s grasp. Sliding down to the floor, Elwood was next to Jason in an instant, clambering boldly on to the man’s knee.
“Hello,” Jason said simply, a mildly bewildered smile on his lips. Gary couldn’t help but notice how Elwood’s happiness was almost as effective as his father’s at lifting the spirits of a person and Jason was no exception; his grey complexion now a marginally more acceptable shade of white.
“Hello Jason!” Elwood grinned from his place in Jason’s lap, looking up at him with joyful eyes.
“You’re definitely too soft on that one mate…if one of mine had been demanding Jason, I would’ve given ‘em to Howard immediately, just to make a point,” Gary commented to Mark and Mark laughed; they both knew that was a lie. Gary was well aware that he had pretty much written the manual on how to spoil children and he knew that even if his kids were demanding to spend time with Jason, in Australia, on a yacht, eating Chinese food, he would find a way to make it happen.
“Are my ears burning?” came Howard’s voice as he returned, coffee in hand.
“Nah, Gaz is just attempting parenting advice,” Mark replied and Howard let out a laugh.
“Alright, try not to spit your coffee out!” Gary defended with a grin.
“If it’s tips you want, ask Jay. I don’t know what his trick is but my girls bloody love him. Grace practically bit my hand off last time I suggested we went round his,” Howard shrugged and Jason tried to hide the slightly proud smile that touched his lips.
“Why do you and daddy have to go Jason?” Elwood asked, surprising Jason slightly.
“We’ve got to keep your dad in hats and scarves somehow,” Gary remarked and whilst his bandmates laughed, Elwood shot him a remarkably pointed look for such a young child.
“That’s you told,” Howard commented with a grin but their eyes were all still fixed on Jason and Elwood. Jason worked some sort of magic on children. Hyper, crying, stroppy – hand them over to Jason and within minutes they were placid and happy , halos polished and sitting back neatly on the tops of their heads. Gary recalled that shortly after Christmas, on a band visit to Mark’s, a very distressed Willow had, for some reason, been plonked into Jason’s arms and almost instantaneously a contentedness had spread across the baby’s face, proving that all of the Take That children adored Jason, even those too young to know who exactly Jason was.
“There you go,” Jason said gently as he placed his sunglasses on to Elwood’s face. Elwood beamed.
“Now you can go instead of me,” Jason decided with a small nod and Gary smirked, rolling his eyes. That was what he was up to. Elwood wrinkled his nose.
“Can’t I go instead of Gary?” he asked and Gary pulled an outraged expression.
“Your kid has definitely got it in for me…” he said after a moment, glancing across at Mark. Mark smiled in soft amusement, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging.
“Well someone has to keep you in line,” he teased.
“I’ve lost all respect from you lot,” Gary concluded dramatically and the others laughed at him.
“Please can I come on the plane with you? I can sit on your knee and daddy can sing and I can play your guitar and Howard can come too, it’ll be really fun Jason!” Elwood babbled without pausing for breath. Jason felt his insides lurch one more time. He would happily go along with the plan providing Elwood removed the plane part.
“No can do I’m afraid,” Jason sighed.
“Will you tell daddy to get me a present?” Elwood asked with a small pout .
“Deal,” Jason nodded, offering out a palm to the small boy. Elwood quickly broke into a grin and high-fived Jason with enthusiasm. Mark couldn’t help but beam at the sight.
A moment later, the door opened again and this time Emma appeared.
“Hello…don’t suppose you’ve seen a small boy around here anywhere? About so big, can’t stop grinning, fond of trouble?” she smiled at them, her eyes sparkling.
“You mean him?” Howard asked, jabbing a thumb in Mark’s direction and grinning playfully.
“Close Howard, very close,” Emma laughed, going over to scoop Elwood up from Jason’s lap.
“Sure you don’t want to keep him? We’ll take the pocket edition instead,” Howard offered, nodding towards Elwood. Emma shook her head, laughter on her lips. Then, she glanced back over at Jason.
“Are you ok Jason, you haven’t flirted with me once since I stepped into the room!” she said teasingly and Jason shot her a weary smile.
“Jay has issues with improbable modes of transport. You’ll just about coax him on to a boat, but a plane? They’re just getting the horse tranquilisers sorted at the moment, then we can set off,” Gary put in before Jason could speak. Emma smiled at Jason sympathetically before planting a kiss on each of the boys’ cheeks.
“Good luck boys,” she said, giving Mark his kiss and an extra hug for good measure and Mark bent in close to give Elwood a hug too.
“Imissou,” Elwood mumbled in to his shoulder and Mark grinned.
“I’ll miss you too,” he said softly, giving the boy a kiss.
As Emma made her way out, Elwood scrambled about in her arms so he could see over her shoulder.
“Bye bye Howard and Jason…and Gary!” he called back and Gary laughed at the small boy’s peace offering before glancing back at Jason. The shades were back in place now; tired, nervous blue eyes sheltering behind the dark black lenses.
“Car’s ready boys,” came a call from the door. Jason felt his insides turn over yet again and Howard, Mark and Gary exchanged a glance as the ominous grey colour filled their friend’s cheeks once more. Jason was always there for all of them. For Howard he was a lifeline, for Mark he was a listening ear and for Gary he was a better perspective. At that moment, they each felt somehow inadequate; he was so brilliant at being there for them and yet none of them could find the right words for him.
It wasn’t until the plane was off the ground, Mark had fallen asleep on a sleeping Gary’s shoulder and Jason had spent ten minutes clutching a water bottle and staring out of the window tensely, that Howard finally found the only words that could be said.
“For God’s sake Jay, cheer up! You look bloody awful!” he said, elbowing Jason gently in the side. Jason turned away from the window, meeting Howard’s shining blue eyes and letting a soft smile spread across his face. His knotted insides suddenly didn’t trouble him so much.
“You try looking good when you’ve got as many things spinning round in your head as I have,” he replied calmly and Howard rolled his eyes.
“No one could ever have as many things going on in their head as you do Jay!” Howard grinned and Jason laughed, glancing back out of the window thoughtfully. Mark wriggled his nose in his sleep as Gary’s head flopped sideways to come and rest on top of his. Jason sighed and took a sip of his water, finally looking away from the window and Howard gave him a friendly and somehow meaningful nudge on the shoulder. It was only then that Jason’s insides finally unknotted themselves and Howard’s face was filled with a satisfied smile.