- Home
- About Me
- What's New
- Comments & Questions
-
The Complete Fic Directory
- All I Do Each Night Is Rehearse The Pray Routine
- Appendicitis
- An Act Of Un-Remembrance
- Beginnings
- Better Than Today - Kylie Minogue
- Black
- Breathe Out
- Christmas Shopping
- Choreography
- Dancers
- Dangling
- Days
- Default Settings/Do You Love Me? [Part One]
- Displacement Theory [Blue]
- DJ (I Could Be Dancing) - Alphabeat
- Enchanted
- Ends (Loose And Otherwise) [Ends]
- Enemies
- Family
- Fine Time To Lose Your Mind - Jack McManus
- Fireworks
- Flat Tyres And Palm Prints [Birth]
- Flu
- Friends: A Dictionary [Friends]
- From Angels To The Moon/The Soup
- Green Light [Green]
- Hell Raisers
- Home Invasion
- Hours
- In My Veins
- Insides
- It Was The Death Of Something [Death]
- Just Like Children [Children]
- Kiss And Make Up
- The Last Time
- Lonely At Christmas
- Love Songs
- Lovers
- Middles
- Midnight Sun
- Mistletoe
- Months Go By [Months]
- More Important Than Fear
- Muddied Stars [Brown]
- Not Enough
- Of Peacocks
- On The Subject Of Angels [Orange]
- Playing House [Parents]
- The Price Of Friendship
- The Prize
- Post-Match Analysis
- Puddles
- Red
- Secret Admirer
- Secret Agent Owen
- Shades
- Shine - Skies Of America
- Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
- Snap
- So Good To See You
- Stage Fright
- Stay (Oh Darlin')
- Study In Motion
- Summertime Feeling - S Club 7
- Sunrise
- Sunset
- Teammates
- That Night In Amsterdam/Do You Love Me? [Part Two]
- This
- Three Sets Of Three
- Twenty-Nine (And A Half)
- Under A Colourless Sky [Colourless]
- We Found Something That Belongs To You [Outsides]
- We Were Strangers Once [Strangers]
- Weeks
- What Did You Say This Time?
- What Will The Papers Say? [Purple]
- White Out [White]
- The Wordsmith/Breathe In
- Years
- Yellow
- Yesterday's Promise
- 3-0 Defeats
- Barlow's Music Shop Series
- Fanfiction Challenges
- The Postcard Prompts
- OT3, OT4 & OT5
- Stories By Band Member
- Stories By Ship
- Stories By Genre
- Stories By Era
- Band-Free AUs
- Prompt Requests
- Other Fandom Fics
- Follow Me
Lovers
Mark Owen climbed slowly up the slope towards a lone figure in the distance. A familiar silhouette on the landscape, Jason Orange’s outline was a warm thing in the bitter cold and Mark tugged slightly on his scarf as he picked his way around some rocks. His breath circled grey mist out in front of him and Jason scuffed his shoe against the earth, thoughtful faced, eyes searching the skyline. Jason made Mark smile – scraggy hair framed a face that Mark was powerless not to love. It was strange having that face back in his life every day again, strange but beautiful that all four of them were together once more. Mark just wanted to cuddle them all, all the time. Or at least, he did today. Mark was never one to be ungrateful, he always knew when he was onto a good thing and this whole thing was just incredible. Three of the best mates he’d ever had, back in his life. Back for good, so the presenters had chirped at them in the morning’s round of interviews. Inwardly, they all cringed at that pun before eventually turning it into their own running joke.
As he finally reached Jason’s side, the older man turned and gave him a quiet smile that Mark greeted with a noisy grin. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his eyes back out to the coastline, rubbing a hand slowly across a scratch of stubble.
“D’ya fancy a brew?” Mark asked suddenly and Jason looked back at him with a chuckle.
“How many times have you asked me that today?” he questioned, a twinkle in his eyes.
“Dunno…too many probably. But you looked cold up here – I’m only trying to look after you,” Mark shrugged, dragging one shoe absently across the earth, eyes still watching Jason. Jason’s smile danced gold across his cheeks and he rolled his eyes at Mark playfully.
“You know I always thought it was my job to look after you,” he said gently, a reflective note in his voice. Mark chewed on his lip for a second, a content smile still shining in his face.
“Used to be I guess…” he agreed after a moment, giving Jason a small nod. Jason shook his head, wrapping a firm arm around Mark’s slight shoulders.
“Used to nothing – big brother right here, nothing’s ever gonna change that mate,” he said, jabbing a thumb at himself with a wink.
With Jason’s arms resting lovingly around his shoulders still, Mark looked out at the skyline that seemed to so enchant his friend. It was grey and misty but Jason’s words were written across it and they made Mark smile. Jason was beautifully honest to Mark – he would never hide how he felt or what he thought. They could bicker for ten minutes solid and still hug each other tight at the end of it and Jason was always the first one to pick him up when he fell down or leap up to defend him if, for some reason, it became necessary. The best sort of big brother there was if you asked Mark.
“You think it’s supposed to be this easy?” Mark asked quietly.
“What’s supposed to be?” Jason frowned, eyes leaving the skyline to look Mark in the eye. Mark was dazzled slightly by the intently quizzical blue of Jason’s stare, touched by his friend’s intense interest in every little word he uttered. But that was Jason for you – intensely interested in everything you have to say, keen to study every heartbeat behind your smile.
“Us lot…all over again,” was Mark’s soft reply. Jason’s lips twisted into a nostalgic smile. In his eyes Mark could see flashes of old photographs – black and white stills of forgotten moments of love, slow-motion montages of hugs and laughter.
“You know Markie…too much was shared for it to ever be difficult. Falling back into place is what we do…we fell into place from day one didn’t we?” Jason murmured at last and Mark smiled up at him.
“I remember you spinning on your head that first day…” he began.
“I did it first day we got back together too,” Jason interrupted with a grin and Mark laughed.
“You’re a right nutter Jay,” he chuckled and Jason shrugged.
“A nutter that held your hand when you got scared,” Jason reminded him softly, giving Mark’s shoulders a small squeeze.
“I never said you weren’t a kind nutter,” Mark smiled up at him affectionately.
“Yeah well…I never said I minded sitting with ya,” Jason shrugged.
“Soppy bastard,” Mark sniffed into his scarf, making Jason grin.
“Mm, and I love you too! Now c’mon, give us a cuddle,” he sighed.
“No way, last time you said that you didn’t stop tickling me for ages!” Mark shot back, quickly jumping away from Jason and waving a scarf end at him playfully, a laugh dancing in his eyes. Jason grinned mischievously, offering out his arms.
“Aw, come on. I promise I won’t tickle you this time – one cuddle, then we go for a brew,” he suggested. Mark narrowed his eyes at Jason, taking a tentative step toward him before giving in and letting Jason give him a cosy bear hug that made him forget the cold day. Then, before Mark could put up a fight, Jason scooped up the smaller man. Carrying the struggling Mark with incredible ease, Jason sauntered down the slope towards the rocky coastline, playfully dangling him over the water’s edge before spinning him round and giving him a playful smack on his arse. Laughter and a brief struggle were captured sepia on a postcard before tea was finally found and Jason let Mark have his biscuit in a declaration of peace.
Morning drew slowly on to afternoon. With the mist hanging heavy, Mark was only just able to pick Gary out as he stood back from the cameras and the lights, surveying the scene with that humble pride that only Gary can really master. His head was tilted upwards as he watched nothing in particular. A regal homeliness rolled off Gary that made Mark smile, that overwhelming urge to just hug all three of his best mates tight being only slightly overpowered by an urge to bowl into Gary like an overexcited child whose dad’s just come home from a business trip abroad. Gary nodded at him silently as he arrived at his side, mumbling something in his dulcet Northern accent and casting piercing blue eyes over to where Howard and Jason were joking brightly with one another and flirting with a make-up girl. Jason brushed teasingly at something on Howard’s cheek and Howard launched into a laddish retort. Gary chuckled at them quietly with a shake of his head before letting his brow begin to crease once more.
“You alright Gaz?” Mark asked him softly, seeing Gary’s fingers twitch tensely. There was something about days like this that triggered contemplation and Mark could see Polaroid pictures of past arguments lying scattered in Gary’s blue eyes. Pieces of torn photographs better left buried. Dim, poor-quality images of stern jaws and pointing fingers. Gary is shaking his head, jaw clenched, eyes steely. Howard glares away from them, words left unsaid. Jason swears and mutters, head shaking. Mark points sternly, looking up into a face with determination. There weren’t many of these memories. Tension is understandable when you’re living in each other’s pockets though, that’s how Mark explains it. But he knows Gary can be a little harder on himself.
“Was I really an arrogant git back then?” Gary asked at last. Mark wrinkled his nose and didn’t look at Gary, looking down at the ends of his scarf instead.
“Yeah,” he said simply. Gary blinked, expecting platitudes but somehow appreciating the honesty.
“Oh,” he said quietly and Mark smiled at him.
“You were our arrogant git though – always will be,” he grins, giving Gary a playful nudge with his shoulder and it makes Gary smile broadly, a small laugh escaping into the cold grey air. With a warm hug the matter was closed and they felt the earth turn round beneath their feet as they shared thoughtful glances – like an old-fashioned film reel their smiles crackled slightly as they made their way over to join Howard and Jason. Mark offered them tea again and the moment was captured, loving and quiet, like a candid photograph kept for framing in their memories.
With the day rolling on, Mark found himself sat in the crew van, on Howard’s lap and wrapped up in Jason’s coat. Jason shivered slightly in his sleep and Mark felt guilty. Gary was outside, chatting to the director, lost in the conversation, Jason was lying across two seats, fast asleep and Howard was staring intently out of the window as Mark caught pictures of the scene in fuzzy light on his phone. He won’t regret not taking them on a proper camera, he knows. Because this is how he remembers these moments – every time his looks back on their friendship, on their brotherhood, their love. He always remembers it in black and white or from an awkward angle or in blurred hues of white and gold. Gary glances back at the others over his shoulder. Click – a small smile. They’re never far from his thoughts is the caption in his eyes. Jason mumbles something in his sleep and Howard looks across at him. Click – a quirked eyebrow. Affection is the title given to the moment by Howard’s silent smile. Mark smiles to himself and shows Howard the picture but he frowns slightly.
“Bloody hell, I hope that’s not a picture you’re going to remember me by,” he grumbles jokingly.
“Aww, I think it’s nice! Very handsome…very broody,” Mark protests, twisting the phone away from Howard to ensure the picture cannot be reached by a hand intent upon deleting.
“You always were a bit soft in the head,” Howard teased, poking Mark playfully, making the smaller man squirm and laugh, eyes sparkling warmly as he looked up at Howard.
“And you always were in love with Jay! Don’t think I don’t see you, always with one eye on him!” he countered swiftly, making Howard smile a little self-consciously and look out of the window.
“It’s usually the other way around…he don’t need much taking care of our Jay. I’m the mess,” he said quietly, chewing the inside of his cheek, brow furrowed deeply.
“Don’t be daft Howard, we all know Jay’s a bit neurotic – he makes you look positively normal,” Mark said with a cheeky grin, getting in a small poke of his own in Howard’s rib cage.
“I’m tired not deaf you know,” Jason interjected briefly before turning over and closing his eyes again. Howard and Mark both laughed at that and Howard shook his head. Another black and white still fell with a shuffle, another moment captured between them all; Jason with one eye open, Howard watching him with a smile, Mark laughing softly, round eyes trained on Howard.
“None of us can be a mess when there’s three other people helping tidy up,” Mark half-whispered into the stillness of the van. Jason smiled in his sleep, Gary turned to look over his shoulder once more and Howard gave Mark’s shoulders a silent squeeze. One more click in the quiet.
The sun began to set behind the cameras and all four sat together once more. Silently they thought of unspoken prayers of thanks which they might offer for each candid still. They looked like four lovers – running away from the world – huddled together against the cold evening air. One more black and white photograph of another shared fragment of time. The skinny one pulled his coat a little tighter, mumbling something to the tallest, who wore a smile in his eyes and hid a laugh behind his scarf. The little one shivered and sniffled and the man at his side was quick to sacrifice his coat to his friend’s shoulders. A quiet thank you was followed by more soft murmurs of jokes unintelligible to the outside world. Laughter was dusted about their lips, captured in another quiet click. All four men murmured insignificant teases to one another and, just like lovers, they shared secret smiles as the captured moments piled up behind their eyes.
As he finally reached Jason’s side, the older man turned and gave him a quiet smile that Mark greeted with a noisy grin. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his eyes back out to the coastline, rubbing a hand slowly across a scratch of stubble.
“D’ya fancy a brew?” Mark asked suddenly and Jason looked back at him with a chuckle.
“How many times have you asked me that today?” he questioned, a twinkle in his eyes.
“Dunno…too many probably. But you looked cold up here – I’m only trying to look after you,” Mark shrugged, dragging one shoe absently across the earth, eyes still watching Jason. Jason’s smile danced gold across his cheeks and he rolled his eyes at Mark playfully.
“You know I always thought it was my job to look after you,” he said gently, a reflective note in his voice. Mark chewed on his lip for a second, a content smile still shining in his face.
“Used to be I guess…” he agreed after a moment, giving Jason a small nod. Jason shook his head, wrapping a firm arm around Mark’s slight shoulders.
“Used to nothing – big brother right here, nothing’s ever gonna change that mate,” he said, jabbing a thumb at himself with a wink.
With Jason’s arms resting lovingly around his shoulders still, Mark looked out at the skyline that seemed to so enchant his friend. It was grey and misty but Jason’s words were written across it and they made Mark smile. Jason was beautifully honest to Mark – he would never hide how he felt or what he thought. They could bicker for ten minutes solid and still hug each other tight at the end of it and Jason was always the first one to pick him up when he fell down or leap up to defend him if, for some reason, it became necessary. The best sort of big brother there was if you asked Mark.
“You think it’s supposed to be this easy?” Mark asked quietly.
“What’s supposed to be?” Jason frowned, eyes leaving the skyline to look Mark in the eye. Mark was dazzled slightly by the intently quizzical blue of Jason’s stare, touched by his friend’s intense interest in every little word he uttered. But that was Jason for you – intensely interested in everything you have to say, keen to study every heartbeat behind your smile.
“Us lot…all over again,” was Mark’s soft reply. Jason’s lips twisted into a nostalgic smile. In his eyes Mark could see flashes of old photographs – black and white stills of forgotten moments of love, slow-motion montages of hugs and laughter.
“You know Markie…too much was shared for it to ever be difficult. Falling back into place is what we do…we fell into place from day one didn’t we?” Jason murmured at last and Mark smiled up at him.
“I remember you spinning on your head that first day…” he began.
“I did it first day we got back together too,” Jason interrupted with a grin and Mark laughed.
“You’re a right nutter Jay,” he chuckled and Jason shrugged.
“A nutter that held your hand when you got scared,” Jason reminded him softly, giving Mark’s shoulders a small squeeze.
“I never said you weren’t a kind nutter,” Mark smiled up at him affectionately.
“Yeah well…I never said I minded sitting with ya,” Jason shrugged.
“Soppy bastard,” Mark sniffed into his scarf, making Jason grin.
“Mm, and I love you too! Now c’mon, give us a cuddle,” he sighed.
“No way, last time you said that you didn’t stop tickling me for ages!” Mark shot back, quickly jumping away from Jason and waving a scarf end at him playfully, a laugh dancing in his eyes. Jason grinned mischievously, offering out his arms.
“Aw, come on. I promise I won’t tickle you this time – one cuddle, then we go for a brew,” he suggested. Mark narrowed his eyes at Jason, taking a tentative step toward him before giving in and letting Jason give him a cosy bear hug that made him forget the cold day. Then, before Mark could put up a fight, Jason scooped up the smaller man. Carrying the struggling Mark with incredible ease, Jason sauntered down the slope towards the rocky coastline, playfully dangling him over the water’s edge before spinning him round and giving him a playful smack on his arse. Laughter and a brief struggle were captured sepia on a postcard before tea was finally found and Jason let Mark have his biscuit in a declaration of peace.
Morning drew slowly on to afternoon. With the mist hanging heavy, Mark was only just able to pick Gary out as he stood back from the cameras and the lights, surveying the scene with that humble pride that only Gary can really master. His head was tilted upwards as he watched nothing in particular. A regal homeliness rolled off Gary that made Mark smile, that overwhelming urge to just hug all three of his best mates tight being only slightly overpowered by an urge to bowl into Gary like an overexcited child whose dad’s just come home from a business trip abroad. Gary nodded at him silently as he arrived at his side, mumbling something in his dulcet Northern accent and casting piercing blue eyes over to where Howard and Jason were joking brightly with one another and flirting with a make-up girl. Jason brushed teasingly at something on Howard’s cheek and Howard launched into a laddish retort. Gary chuckled at them quietly with a shake of his head before letting his brow begin to crease once more.
“You alright Gaz?” Mark asked him softly, seeing Gary’s fingers twitch tensely. There was something about days like this that triggered contemplation and Mark could see Polaroid pictures of past arguments lying scattered in Gary’s blue eyes. Pieces of torn photographs better left buried. Dim, poor-quality images of stern jaws and pointing fingers. Gary is shaking his head, jaw clenched, eyes steely. Howard glares away from them, words left unsaid. Jason swears and mutters, head shaking. Mark points sternly, looking up into a face with determination. There weren’t many of these memories. Tension is understandable when you’re living in each other’s pockets though, that’s how Mark explains it. But he knows Gary can be a little harder on himself.
“Was I really an arrogant git back then?” Gary asked at last. Mark wrinkled his nose and didn’t look at Gary, looking down at the ends of his scarf instead.
“Yeah,” he said simply. Gary blinked, expecting platitudes but somehow appreciating the honesty.
“Oh,” he said quietly and Mark smiled at him.
“You were our arrogant git though – always will be,” he grins, giving Gary a playful nudge with his shoulder and it makes Gary smile broadly, a small laugh escaping into the cold grey air. With a warm hug the matter was closed and they felt the earth turn round beneath their feet as they shared thoughtful glances – like an old-fashioned film reel their smiles crackled slightly as they made their way over to join Howard and Jason. Mark offered them tea again and the moment was captured, loving and quiet, like a candid photograph kept for framing in their memories.
With the day rolling on, Mark found himself sat in the crew van, on Howard’s lap and wrapped up in Jason’s coat. Jason shivered slightly in his sleep and Mark felt guilty. Gary was outside, chatting to the director, lost in the conversation, Jason was lying across two seats, fast asleep and Howard was staring intently out of the window as Mark caught pictures of the scene in fuzzy light on his phone. He won’t regret not taking them on a proper camera, he knows. Because this is how he remembers these moments – every time his looks back on their friendship, on their brotherhood, their love. He always remembers it in black and white or from an awkward angle or in blurred hues of white and gold. Gary glances back at the others over his shoulder. Click – a small smile. They’re never far from his thoughts is the caption in his eyes. Jason mumbles something in his sleep and Howard looks across at him. Click – a quirked eyebrow. Affection is the title given to the moment by Howard’s silent smile. Mark smiles to himself and shows Howard the picture but he frowns slightly.
“Bloody hell, I hope that’s not a picture you’re going to remember me by,” he grumbles jokingly.
“Aww, I think it’s nice! Very handsome…very broody,” Mark protests, twisting the phone away from Howard to ensure the picture cannot be reached by a hand intent upon deleting.
“You always were a bit soft in the head,” Howard teased, poking Mark playfully, making the smaller man squirm and laugh, eyes sparkling warmly as he looked up at Howard.
“And you always were in love with Jay! Don’t think I don’t see you, always with one eye on him!” he countered swiftly, making Howard smile a little self-consciously and look out of the window.
“It’s usually the other way around…he don’t need much taking care of our Jay. I’m the mess,” he said quietly, chewing the inside of his cheek, brow furrowed deeply.
“Don’t be daft Howard, we all know Jay’s a bit neurotic – he makes you look positively normal,” Mark said with a cheeky grin, getting in a small poke of his own in Howard’s rib cage.
“I’m tired not deaf you know,” Jason interjected briefly before turning over and closing his eyes again. Howard and Mark both laughed at that and Howard shook his head. Another black and white still fell with a shuffle, another moment captured between them all; Jason with one eye open, Howard watching him with a smile, Mark laughing softly, round eyes trained on Howard.
“None of us can be a mess when there’s three other people helping tidy up,” Mark half-whispered into the stillness of the van. Jason smiled in his sleep, Gary turned to look over his shoulder once more and Howard gave Mark’s shoulders a silent squeeze. One more click in the quiet.
The sun began to set behind the cameras and all four sat together once more. Silently they thought of unspoken prayers of thanks which they might offer for each candid still. They looked like four lovers – running away from the world – huddled together against the cold evening air. One more black and white photograph of another shared fragment of time. The skinny one pulled his coat a little tighter, mumbling something to the tallest, who wore a smile in his eyes and hid a laugh behind his scarf. The little one shivered and sniffled and the man at his side was quick to sacrifice his coat to his friend’s shoulders. A quiet thank you was followed by more soft murmurs of jokes unintelligible to the outside world. Laughter was dusted about their lips, captured in another quiet click. All four men murmured insignificant teases to one another and, just like lovers, they shared secret smiles as the captured moments piled up behind their eyes.